she wasn't okay - JJ MAYBANK // Outer Banks

EIGHTEEN

John B walked up and down the front yard. He was waiting for Lucy. He didn't know where she was. All he knew JJ's bike was missing. And Lucy. JJ had to work after school, he didn't know. John B's head shot up, when he heard the bike. He was relieved to see his sister. It seemed like she hadn't taking any injuries from her trip. Lucy stopped in front of John B. John B nearly lifted her off the bike.

"Are you okay? Are you mad? Taking JJ's bike. Have ever driven it?" John B rambled on and on and on.

Lucy took the helmet off and looked at her brother. "It's fine. I'm fine. I just took it for a ride. Nothing to be worried about."

"I've been waiting for you since an hour." Lucy widen her eyes.

"But you had school."

"Yeah, had. The last two lessons got cancelled. So acknowledge me where have you been?"

"Just around the island." Lucy lied. John B pulled her into a hug.

"Don't do that again. Don't leave without a message. Please." Lucy's heart broke. Not that she had lied to her brother, but he really seemed to care. Care about what happens to her. It didn't feel right to lie to him. But Lucy just couldn't tell him. She couldn't tell him her cancer was back and it will be her last chance to survive it. Dr. Sloan hadn't had all the results yet, but the once he had made it pretty clear Lucy health was on the edge of living. Maybe her mum was right after all. Not that her mum knew she was right. When Lucy's mother talked to Lucy she couldn't have an idea of what was happening to Lucy. Lucy's eyes teared up. She whipped them into John B T-Shirt without him noticing.

"I'm sorry." Lucy whispered. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"Just don't do it again." John B whispered back. "Not to sound like a dad, but you don't know much about this island. It would be cool if you just tell me when you go out. Oh, and take your phone with you, please."

"Okay." Lucy paused and looked at her brother. "Could you tell me about dad?"

John B nodded. "Come on, let's take the boat for round and I'll tell you about him."

"Dad and I didn't always have the best relationship." John B spoke after they had been on the boat for a long time. "Sure, he was there, when I really needed him, but before he went missing his head was all caught up in finding the gold. It was like it was the only thing that matter for him." Lucy stood beside him and watched him navigate the boat over the water. John B speeded up as they reached the ocean. "JJ had been basically living with us since I can't even remember. His dad is... his dad isn't the father he deserves. Dad was always there for him. For anyone."

"Anyone, but his own son."

"Sort of... not always."

"But all too often."

"Yeah..."

"You never told anyone about this, didn't you?"

John B looked at her. "How do you know?"

Lucy shrugged. "Call it instinct." Lucy paused. "I guess even when we didn't grow up together, in a way we had the same childhood."

"How do you mean?"

"I mean, mum wasn't the mum everyone thought she was. She was pretending to be a good mum. But it turned out she never wanted kids. That's why she left Outer Banks." John B stopped the boat.

"Come again." He looked at his sister in shock.

"She wanted to continue being a model, or something. I don't know. She left you and dad for her career. Turned out she was pregnant with me. I'm not even sure she loved me." Lucy whispered the last part.

"Don't say that." John B eyes teared up. He whispered the words, just like Lucy. He wanted his words to be true, but deep down he knew Lucy was right. "We'll get through, Luce." He stopped the boat and pulled Lucy into his chest. "I won't let anything happen to you."

"Don't promise me that. You can't promise that."

"I'll be by your side, no matter what!" John B looked into his sisters eyes. "I don't care what it takes. I don't want a life without you in it."

"But you will, someday." Lucy buried her face into his chest.

"Someday is not today! Nor tomorrow. Someday is when we are old."

"No, John B." Lucy paused. "I didn't take the bike for a ride. Dr. Sloan called and told me to come over. He found something." John B's arms tighten around Lucy's body. He didn't know what to say. He didn't know how to react.

"Lu." John B said after a while of silence. "JJ told me about your list." Lucy looked at him confused. "Your bucket list." He sort of smiled down at his sister.

"What about it?"

"Let's see what we can do next." Lucy grabbed her bag and pulled the list out.

1. Finding her dad and brother CHECK

2. Learn to surf

3. Learn to drive a car

4. Get a tattoo

5. Travel to every continent ||

6. Be in two places at once

7. Fly on a plane CHECK

8. Get a dog

9. See a miracle

"JJ can teach you how to surf. Well, I could, too, but JJ is the better surfer. And I believe JJ have a tattoo pistol. I think Twinkie would be more than proud to let you drive. And-"

"Johnny, breath. Stop and let it sink in. It is just a stupid list of things I wrote down."

"It is everything, but not stupid, Lu. If you want to, we will get it done."

"But we don't have to do it all at once and if we can't get everything done, so what?"

"How can you be so cool with it?!" John said aggressive.

"Because..." Lucy put her hand on his cheek. "Because I lived with it my whole life. I got used to it. I grew up knowing I'll die one day, sooner as everyone." She wiped away his tears. "You just got thrown into it. You didn't have time to adjust. Give yourself sometime."

"I don't want to have time adjust to think about you being gone. I want time with you, all our lives!"

"And we will, Johnny! We will!"

"I don't want to lose my sister I just found out about it."

"I get that. Believe me, I do. But I don't think there is a chance."

"We don't have all the results yet. Don't be negative about it."

"But I have to!" Lucy shouted. "If I don't expect the worst, it will tear me apart. It will eat me up. Alive. And I don't want that. I want to live the last bit of my life as best as I can. I don't know how long I've got left."

"Gosh, I wish I had met you earlier."

"Same." Lucy whispered.

(NOT EDITED)