When can you come back again? [MILEX] +18

8

January 05, 2019

I really do my best to agree with what Jamie, Nick and Matthew propose for tomorrow. But the stark reality is that I don't want to celebrate my thirty-third birthday. I can find no reason to do so. Without Miles, nothing makes sense anymore. Objecting will lead to a confrontation that I also don't have the energy to bear. I think of my nephews and their faces lit up by balloons, garlands and all the decorations that come with a celebration. I convince myself that I must do it for them. I agreed to dinner on the sole condition that it was just us, I didn't want a surprise visit from any family member. Reluctantly, they accepted my condition. When they left, I picked up the end of the letter I wrote to Miles. I lost count of how many there were already, it didn't make sense to remember, since they couldn't travel to meet their addressee.

I thought you might be mine. In a small world, on an exceptionally rainy Tuesday night. In the right place and time. When you walked around your house wearin' my sky blue Lacoste, without predicting your dire fate. You made it all alright, my love. You and me could have been a team.

Alex

I put it in my desk drawer with the rest of them. I went to the window and stared at the fountain. The presence of her exasperates me, this inanimate object that used to please my days, now irritates me. I want to demolish it, I want to snatch myself with all the places that keep the memory of him. I couldn't contain myself and began to cry again. My vision clouded and my chest closed. I'm suffering the absence of him like never before, I can't take it anymore. The only thing I can think of is that last kiss in that place.

August 31, 2018

When I woke up, I temporarily forgot where I was. Looking back on the night before, I smiled to see that next to me, with his hands between his thighs, Miles was sleeping soundly. I checked the time and it was almost ten in the morning. Quickly, but careful not to wake him, I changed and went down to reception.

- Good morning Cookie, Miles from 505 will not leave at check out

- Why? Does want he stay another few days? - he asked as he leafed through some papers

- No .. he will only leave later

- So we must charge him another night

- No! Let me take care of it!

Jamie stopped whatever he was doing, to look up to find my face.

- Why are you so preferential with that guest? Don't think I haven't noticed

- Because our friend switched teams, haven't you noticed?

Matt's mocking voice magically appeared behind us. He had boxes of food with him.

- Matthew! Lower your voice!

- Please, Alex - he said, putting the boxes on the ground and straightening up - he's our friend, it's time for him to know

- What do I need to know? - Jamie's gaze went from Matt to mine and from mine to Matt. He was waiting for an answer.

- That Alex and Mr. Kane last night, you know ...

I pressed the bridge of my nose. Why was Matthew never able to keep his mouth shut?

Jamie's surprised eyes fell on me.

- Did you have sex with a guest? Wait ... do you like men now?

- No, just Miles!

Jamie took me by the arm and dragged me into our office. Our friend followed us.