Don't f*ck this up - BlackHill

FOUR

"Maria, I am getting super weird messages from Clint, do you know what they are about?" Natasha inquired when she came out of the bathroom. "Umm.. they're probably 'cause the door got stuck" Maria answered, still trying to figure out what could've happened.

Natasha's messages

C: The door got stuck, this happens sometimes.

C: I cannot open it now, I'll need a drill and the kids are asleep already.

N: Okay, we'll probably be fine.

C: I think so too ;D

N: Just get us out in the morning!

C: I will.

"What did he say?" Maria asked and turned to Natasha. "Oh he just told me that he would open it in the morning 'cause the kids are asleep already!" Nat answered. "So we're stuck here!" Maria stated.

They both changed their clothes to something more comfortable. Natasha put on a black tank top and some shorts. Maria put on a white T-shirt and over that a big black hoodie. They both went to bed. Maria reading and Nat looking at her phone. 

"Romanoff, wanna talk about something? I don't think I can sleep now even though I am tired as hell" Maria spoke before she actually realized her request. "Yeah, sure what you have in mind?" Natasha responded quickly without hesitation, she needed to be nice to Maria.

Maria shook her shoulders and said "I don't know, you can think about it". She got up and went to the bathroom. Nat took her phone and started scrolling through it once again.

"You got a tampon?" Maria asked, when she peaked out of the bathroom door. And as soon realized how wrong it was. "Nahh.. got no uterus so no periods equals no tampons." Natasha answered with a smirk on her face but still concentrated on what was going on in her phone. Maria's face turned completely red. She went back to the bathroom and felt like the world was turning. 

"Shit, why didn't I remember..." Maria thought to herself. She felt so embarrassed.

Maria walked back to bed after a moment of self pity. "Sorry, I completely forgot, I didn't think it through before I asked.." Maria uttered, trying not to sound so embarrassed. She felt Natasha looking at her. Maria was so sure that at this point Natasha hated her. She just wanted to bury herself somewhere deep in the ground. "You know, you're not the only one who has asked that. AND you're not the only one who has gone into the bathroom while I am showering! So everything is really fine between us!" Natasha explained with a comforting smile. Maria gathered all her courage and looked at Natasha. God, she immediately got lost in those eyes. Natasha fell for the gaze of Maria's too.

"So you wanted to talk to me?" Natasha said and broke eye contact. She landed her phone on the night stand next to the bed. "Well, I just thought for fun 'cause we spend time together often but never really talk." Maria answered and put her hair behind her ear. Natasha nodded "So let's go, I ask you one question and then you ask me one!" Nat suggested, without realizing that they were actually stuck in the room. So if somehow Maria would find out her feelings for her, she couldn't escape.

Maria nodded even though she was scared of where this would lead to.

N: Something you fear the most?

M: Being forgotten, or losing everything.

M: What do you love the most?

N: A hard one, pass.

M: Can we pass the questions?

N: I can, I am not sure if you can.

Nat smiled playfully at Maria.

M: Okay, one of your darkest memories?

N: Only one? Okay, I would say the Red Room.

N: Did you ever have anything with someone from SHIELD?

M: No, It's forbidden, I am really motivated to keep my job.

Maria realized what she said and regretted it greatly. She thought that there was no chance she could be with Nat but after that reckless comment it felt even more unrealistic.

M: You told earlier that someone had gone into a bathroom while you were showering...Name one!

N: Umm.. Steve, it was on a mission. Well, I'd rather have you in there than him but he wasn't the worst.

Maria raised an eyebrow and looked at Nat.

N: Sorry that came out odder than I meant it.

M: It's fine, I'd choose you over him without any chance.

Natasha smirked. She felt overly unsure about the situation. Was she becoming insane or could Agent Hill really be into her.

N: Who was the last person you were with?

M: Umm...I want to make myself forget his name. So no answer.

N: What, why?

M: Only one question hun, my turn now.

M: Are questions about the Red Room allowed?

N: Well, it depends but that was a question!

N: Why did you want to forget him?

M: Urgh.. well I just...

Natasha waited for Maria to continue. Maria took a deep breath and said "He abused me" Nat's eyes grew wider. She took Maria's hand and held it between hers. Natasha's touch and presence made Maria feel worthier.

"Have you told someone, of course you can talk to me too" Natasha revealed all the empathy in her voice. Maria chuckled trying to hold her tears back "You are the only one who knows about it." Maria mumbled, still trying to keep herself together.

 She swallowed and continued with her voice fading "I felt embarrassed. I am a fucking SHIELD Agent. I should be able to defend myself." Maria let her head fall on Nat's shoulder. She felt warm there. Natasha put her hand on Maria's head as a sign of comfort.

 "Ria, it's okay. You shouldn't blame yourself, none of it was your fault." Nat said while playing with Maria's hair. "Don't get me wrong, I can defend myself with those gross 'I wanna get into your pants' guys...This was something far from that." Maria tried to explain 'cause she didn't want Natasha to think she was weak. "Yeah, I got it. What was this like then?" Nat took her chance and asked. Maria lifted her head up, Natasha wiped Maria's tears from her face and said "You don't need to tell if it's too painful" Maria's eyes started to water again even though she really tried not to cry. Not here. Not in front of Nat.

"It was six months ago. We were together for about a month. He always wanted to spend time at his place which I was okay with 'cause I didn't want to tell him what I did for work. For the last week of it he seemed weird. I didn't know what I had done but he was just yelling at me and making me do things like deliver weird packages and stuff. I really don't understand why I did all that. One day he threatened me to deliver some drugs to someone and if I didn't he wouldn't let me out. I refused to go. I said that if someone saw me I could lose my job. Then he started to question what I did for work and I didn't want to tell. He wouldn't let me go without delivering the drugs so he hit me which came totally by surprise and I fainted. When I woke up, he had undressed me. And you can probably guess the rest." Maria explained with her voice shaking and her eyes filled with tears. 

After Maria had finished the story she let her head fall back to Natasha's shoulder. Maria felt like she couldn't breathe. Natasha put her arms around Maria and hugged her with all the love and caring she was storing. They stayed like that for a while.

"Thank you for telling me," Natasha said after some time had passed. Maria lifted her head up and smiled. "Thank you for listening to me," Maria said. She went to lie down and put her head on Nat's lap. Natasha took Maria's hair out of her face and looked at her. Nat knew how this woman resting her head on her lap was someone to hold on to.

Maria felt Natasha's hand in her hair. She wanted to stay there forever. The way Nat made her feel was unbelievable. She felt like she was about to fall for Romanoff or she already did. Maria closed her eyes and pictured Natasha in her mind. After a few minutes she had calmly fallen asleep. Natasha moved her over to the other side of the bed and put a blanket on her.