Don't f*ck this up - BlackHill

FIFTEEN

Natasha's POV:

// My eyes started to water when I saw Maria running away. I hurt her, I knew it. "Urghh...I fucked this up!" I yelled and turned back to Bruce. "What do you mean?" Bruce said and came to give me a hug. I pushed him away. "Can't you see...I am not into you...I am not!" I screamed even though I knew it wasn't Bruce's fault.

Banner took a step back and gazed at me. "Ohh... okay! You could have just told me, you know. Is there something going on with you and Maria?" Bruce questioned, still being confused about the situation.

"Yes... there is, was, I don't know. And you kissed me if you hadn't done it this wouldn't have happened!" I yelled unintentionally and buried my face into my hands. 

I didn't even know what had happened, once we got to the room I was just about to wash the shirt and all of the sudden Bruce's hands were on my waist. I wanted to let him down easily so I wouldn't hurt him but now I somehow managed to hurt both of them, Bruce and Ria. All of it happened so fast, I first didn't even realize what was going on. 

 I tried to convince myself that this wasn't happening. Bruce looked at me confused and crushed. "She asked me about us this morning...I told her that there was nothing between you and me. And there fucking isn't!" I kept yelling even though I knew that partly all of this was my fault.

"Maybe, I'll just let you work this out on your own. I thought there was something, I would have understood if you would have just told me!" Bruce raised his voice and walked towards the door. "I promised Ria that I wouldn't tell anyone." I said before Bruce left.

 He turned to me and seemed disappointed. "Natasha, you should talk to people and not yell at me. I just thought there was something but thanks for clearing that out. I am sorry that I kissed you, there's my part done. Bye!" Bruce said and left.

I collapsed on the floor crying. I couldn't get any sense of my thoughts. This was my fault, my mess. I fucked it up. I went to lie down on my bed. When I closed my eyes, all I could see was Ria's face. I could feel her tender touch on my skin, feel the warmth she brought me every time she held me.

I really just needed to talk to someone, someone who would just listen to me. Obviously I couldn't talk to Maria nor Bruce.

I took my phone from the table and called the person who was the only one left. Who wouldn't judge me harshly, at least I hoped so.

"Umm...Clint? Do you have a moment?" I spoke to the phone when I heard him pick up. "Yeah...what's up?" He answered. 

I told him what happened. Everything that was going on with Maria and Bruce and everything I was feeling. How I couldn't just open my mouth and speak the truth to Ria. How I knew that this was my fault.

"Natasha...I've known you for so long and that's why I get it why you did all those things. You've also known Bruce for so long and it is understandable how you don't want to make him feel bad by turning him down. And yeah... you're right you should have told Maria about Bruce. But Laura and I really noticed how much you care about each other. We were really talking about it, there's something truly special between you two." Clint spoke, leaving me speechless.

I took a deep breath and rubbed my forehead. "Don't let her go without a fight, fight for her Natasha!" He said after a while of silence.

That was exactly what I needed to do. Fight for her but still give her the space she needed. I regretted that I didn't tell her that I loved her last night, when she said it to me.//

Maria's POV:

//My head felt empty as I ran towards my room. I held the wet shirt in my hand. I couldn't believe what was happening. As I got to my room, I immediately went to the shower. The hot water running down my body was a way of escaping the feeling I was left with.

I didn't know if we were anything that serious with Nat... but it still hurt like hell. I cried my eyes out. This really wasn't happening. The way I still saw Natasha in my mind wouldn't change.

I saw the perfect features of her face - the green eyes gazing into mine, her red hair high up on a ponytail, her gentle touch on my skin and every little detail of hers gave me butterflies.

I sat on the shower floor. I buried my face into my hands and cried everything out. She said that she wouldn't hurt me and I believed her. I told her I loved her, but she didn't respond. She made me feel comfortable, she made me feel at ease after a long time of suffering.

I would be lying to myself if I would say that's all gone now. It's not. She would still be the person for me, my home. In such a short time, our relationship changed...I started to trust again. Maybe I trusted her too quickly, I let my emotions take control over everything.

Everything happened so fast, I wasn't even sure if I was overreacting. Did I actually just misunderstand the situation? But they were kissing? Maybe...but there still was something Natasha wasn't telling me. I wanted her to be honest with me.

I had asked her about Bruce and she denied it. Still it seemed that there was something. Like how Bruce had held Nat by her waist at the brunch, the kiss last night and today...And the way Bruce was holding her when I came into the room.

I thought that I would doubt myself that I saw all that but I did and I knew it. I just didn't know what was going on. I dragged myself out of the shower and went to lie down on the bed. It didn't help at all.

I grabbed the light yellow shirt from the floor and hugged it tightly. It still smelled like Nat. That scent brought everything back. I remembered last night clearly, how we fell to the bed, how she made me feel and how she slept next to me the whole night. I wished that she would be here. I needed her, I wanted her but I couldn't just go and ask her.

It all felt more complicated than that.//

A/N This chapter is quite short, sorry about it!! I felt bad for the cliffhanger I left so I decided to update this now lmao...

I hope you all have a great weekend!! <3