Misfits

I Don't Dance on Poles

(Trigger warning)

I saw Gerard immediatly as the door slammed shut behind me.

"Hey babe." He said as he licked his lips and then smirked. I bit my lip and looked down as we walked closer to eachother.

He grabbed the coolar of my shirt and pulled me close enough that our lips brushed. He loved to tease me, it was so awful and suspensful, yet wonderful.

He kissed me, long and hard. Forcing his tounge through my lips to find mine. We stood there making out, in the downstairs boys bathroom of Hilton High School, just waiting to get caught.

We kept kissing, completely oblivious that the door had opened behind us, until it slammed. I thought Gerard was going to pass out when he realized someone walked in.

Thank fuck, it was only Ryan. He started laughing and I blushed. Gerard just stood there, as pale as a ghost.

"Hey Ry, uh this is Gerard." I said smiling, and Ryan laughed and stuck out his hand for Gee to shake it. "Gerard this is Ryan, one of my close friends."

"Oh, Mikey's brother?"

He let out a sigh and gave a wary smile, "Yeah, Nice to meet you, I uh, Frank I'm gonna go I'll see you later." He mumbled as he walked out the door.

"Thanks Ryan, you just scared the living shit out of him."

"Why, who cares if you were making out. Frank. it't not a secret you're gay."

"Yeah, but the school doesn't know he's gay, and he doesn't want anyone to know. He said he was tired of being known as the emo faggot at his other schools so he wants to hide it, and be friends with Alex. He wants to be accepted.."

He chimed in before I could continue. "But if he's hiding who he is, is he really being accepted? Talk to him Frankie. He's gonna hurt you of he keeps doing this."

"He's happy hiding it and If he's happy, then I'm happy too."

"Frank, you're gonna get hurt. Just know, if he breaks your heart, i'll help pick up the pieces. But i'll also smash his face in."

With that, Ryan walked out. Not sure why he came into the bathroom if he was just going to leave, But okay.

I walked out just as the bell rang for last period. I walked to my last period class and sat down. I realized Mikey was in this class.

"Hey Frank." I felt kind of guilty, I could still taste his brother on my lips. "Hey Mikey."

The bell rang as the teacher began role call. After that she got up and began teaching us but I didn't pay attention to what the topic was because Mikey had put a note on my desk

 Frank, I have a question

What is it? I wrote and passed it back.

I kind of have a crush on someone;)

Oh really? Who?

"Excuse me, boys pay attention i hope you're not back there passing notes."

I rolled my eyes as Mikey passed the note back.

Pete. He's so cute and funny. Could you help me? I sighed happily, knowing now I didn't have to worry or not if Mikey liked me.

I nodded and smiled at him, I'm glad he likes Pete. No one likes Pete.

As the last bell rang, I felt better because now I could tell Mikey that I liked Gerard.

"Are we walking home together?" He asked me. I smiled and said "Sure, why not."

We got outside of the school and a little way down the street before I actually got the courage to tell him. "Hey Mikey?" I said, tugging at my sleeves.

"Yeah?"

"I like someone too."

He smiled and wiggled his eyebrows. "Whooooo?"

I rubbed the back of my neck, I felt extremely uncomfortable. I don't usually share my feelings but, here I go.

"Gerard."

He bit his lip to keep from laughing. "That dude is straighter than the pole I dance on."

What? He started laughing out loud this time.

"Just kidding I don't dance on poles. But, yeah Gerard is straight."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah dude, He's my brother. I think i would know."

By then we got to my house and we said our goodbyes. My head was spinning. So everything Gee said about being the "emo fag" at his school was a lie? He doesn't know what it's like to be tortured like that. He made it all up.

I ran up to my room fighting off the tears that were burning behind my eyes.

I hate myself. How could I be so stupid. I was crying so hard and my head hurt so much. I went in the bathroom to find some medicine but instead, I found a blade.

6 months clean, about to be shot to hell. I was sobbing, I could barely see anything. I pressed the blade to the skin of my wrist, drawing blood.

"One for being an "emo fag" yourself."
"Two for almost letting Gerard in."
"Three for being so fucking stupid."

Four
Five
Six
Seven...

The sting of the blade felt so good, after six long months. My only true friend.

I lost count and put the blade back in the drawer. I sat  sobbing on the bathroom floor, as time went on I eventually fell asleep on the floor.

I woke up six hours later and cleaned off my bloody wrists and went to my bed.

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This chapter was not supposed to be like this at all. I'm so sorry. It'll get better I promise. Love you allxoxo