Telepathic

5-Let Me Go

"Just breathe, alright? In.... Out..." Dustin's voice was calm and soothing. I followed his directions, managing to calm myself after a few breaths.

"Thank you, Dustin." I said once I felt like the world was spinning at just the right speed.

"Wanna talk about what happened back there?" Dustin lifted one eyebrow as he pursed his lips slightly. He wasn't going to press, but he was worried for me, along with the people closest to me.

"They've been together for six months and I met her a week ago... I want to be happy for him, I really do.. But it hurts. The thought of him with her; with her family... It breaks my heart to the point that I feel sick; to the point where I can't breathe." I confessed, feeling somewhat free now that I had said it all out loud to someone.

Dustin smiled a sad, sympathetic smile. He pulled me into his arms and held me, not saying anything. After a while, he said, "You need to tell Ron that."

I immediately pushed him back. "What? No! I can't just tell him that! I've already broken him more times than I can count over the past few weeks. I can't keep hurting him."

"Hazel, you're hurting him by distancing yourself."

"I have to! It's the only way that I can get over him without losing him forever." I felt tears slip down my cheeks. I wiped them away angrily with my hoodie sleeve.

"If there is one thing in this whole endless universe that I know, it is that Ron DeChant would die a million times over before he would ever risk losing you forever. Ron loves you so much; you have to understand that."

"I do." I said, wrapping my arms around myself. "I just... I need space. I can't constantly be seeing him and listening about his girlfriend. It's not healthy for me."

"Of course not. But you still need to explain to Ron why you need space. I'm sure Willow will tell you the same thing." Dustin nodded.

"Hey.. Can we talk?" Ron asked as he stood by the front door. I nodded my head, letting Dustin switch places with him. I avoided looking at him.

"I'm okay, Ron." I told him immediately, knowing he would be concerned for me.

"No, Haze, you're not. You had a panic attack. Over what? My girlfriend being mentioned?" Ron frowned.

"You've been dating her for six fucking months! And Willow knew. But I didn't. That alone proves how fucking close we are. So just stop. I need my space from you."

Ron growled as he ran a hand through his hair. "I didn't tell you because I didn't know how to! Out of everyone, you are the one person that can read my mind! You know me inside and out. You have more of me than she ever will. I'm afraid that eventually, I won't be good enough for her or anyone because they'll always come second to you. Always. Hazel, I love you."

"Bullshit! How can I have more of you than she will? She's had you in every way possible! Every way that I can't! If you marry her, and have kids with her, that is so much more than what I will ever have." I no longer fought against the onslaught of tears. I let them form and fall as they pleased.

"Why do you have feelings for me?! What did I do?!" Ron argued, getting as upset and frustrated as I was.

"I needed you when my parents died, but you weren't there! I needed big brother Ronny so fucking bad and you were gone, doing work for the military. Then you came back, and neither one of us was the same after. You were no longer the young man that I looked up to; you were the hero of my dreams. You were everything I needed and wanted. But I suppressed my feelings for you for years, never thinking about them too much. Until I realized that you had a girlfriend. I couldn't hide it anymore."

Ron scoffed, running a hand down his face. "The age gap always kept us apart."

"I was hoping that when I turned 18, you'd look at me differently. You didn't. I thought maybe at 21... But no. I'm almost 25 and I can't wait around any more. I have to move on."

"Hazel, I've always noticed you. Always. And I would be lying if I said I hadn't thought about you in my bed. But... God, I could never do that to you. You're not my little sister, Hazel. You're my little sister's best friend. Dating you would.. Put your friendship with my sister at risk. I couldn't do that to either one of you." Ron looked defeated, but I felt that way, too. We were getting no where, running around in circles around each other.

"I think I can make my own choices. Right now, I'm choosing to put distance between us. Goodbye, Ron." I turned to head back inside, deciding my room was a good hide out. Ron grabbed my arm and pulled me back to him, one hand cupping my cheek.

"I will do anything to keep you in my life. Please." He pleaded, tear tracks staining his cheeks.

"Then let me go. Because neither one of us is ever going to heal if you don't."

Regretfully, he let me go, and just as regretfully, I walked away.

~~~

"How's tour life treating you?" I asked Willow as we FaceTimed. She and the band left on a small acoustic tour around the U.S. I stayed back for peRsONal ReasONs.

"It'd be better if you were here. Please tell me you're gonna try and make it to the Cleveland demonstration." Willow pouted.

"I'm thinking about it." I replied honestly. I had been, too. It had been on my mind heavily. I missed my friends.

"Well, hurry. Tickets are almost sold out."

"Do I need a ticket?" I raised an eyebrow. "I'm part of the band."

"Well, I didn't know if you wanted to take advantage of the band perks now that you and the bassist are apart."

I snorted. "The bassist is your brother."

"And he has a name, dipshit!" Ron yelled from somewhere off screen. I could tell by the tone of his voice that he was eating.

"Yeah, ASSHOLE, I know!" Willow shouted back. I could hear a plate dropping onto a table and feet running towards Willow. I laughed as I watched Ron full blown tackle her, tickling her like it was his job.

"Hey! Get off of her!" Dustin yelled playfully, pointing a prop sword he found at Ron.

"She's my sister." Ron scoffed.

"We all thought Hazel was your sister too." Brock replied, immediately getting wacked in the back of the head by his glowing wife.

"Willow is ACTUALLY my sister by blood you sick fuck." His growl was thankfully playful. I'd hate to see the band fight.

"I'm gonna let you go. Have fun. I love you!" I blew a kiss to Willow, but of course Ron was looking at the camera.

"I love you too!" Willow blew me a kiss back and hung up the phone. I put mine down, smiling softly.

Maybe, things would be okay. Maybe I would never be over Ron, or maybe our friendship would never go back to how it was, but I knew that, in the end, I would always be a DeChant.