Need Love

Chapter 5

'I don't know what to feel.'

'I don't know what to do.'

'should I go?'

'no I shouldn't.'

'Its a test.' I kept thinking. Possibly what would happen. The things that could happen. But I liked the feeling of Lucus, and my brother. The way they made me feel, even though I'm a broken girl.

'Broken girl,' I said.

'Broken girl.' I repeated

Why do they want me? Why would anyone want me? I'm pathetic? I get beaten everyday and a guy may do the same.

But..... I like this feeling. I like the feeling of this 'Love'. I need it. I crave for it. I want it. Its everything that can fix me.

I get up off my bed and look at the time -5:32-. I grabbed a sweater and hopped out the window.

Wasn't sure if my dad was at home. He would never let me out other than going to school or going to the store.

my life.

I walked down the road until I got to the specific park

.......,.....................................................

I sat on the bench because there was no sign of him.

-6:00-

No-where

This is a set up. I thought.

I decided to leave when it was -6:15.-

But then as I was walking pass the swings someone said 'Diaz'.

I turned quick. It was him.

It was Lucas.

I stopped as he had gotten closer. He approached.

'Your late' I said.

'I know, I had to do something'. He said

I sighed 'What do you want?'

'Wow in a hurry much'.

'No, really what is it?'

'OK... Can we sit down' he looked around nervously.

'Uh I guess' I said as we found a near bench I was recently sitting on.

'Okay, so I really....' He said but then stopped.

'What.'

'Never mind.' he whispered

I immediately got mad.

'Never mind? Never mind! Are you kiddig me, I came all the way here to hear a damn never mind! I put up my time for you damn ass, and all I get is a never mind as I get here.' I yelled emphasizing each word.

All he did was stare back shockingly. But I could tell he wasn't going to tell what he wanted to say.

'You know what I can't. I was happy to come here. Wanting something. But I wouldn't get it. What happened today must've been a joke, cuz all I am is a joke to you. Right? You push me around, and everything. Everyday you'll want to beat me up, then one day you randomly want to get with me?' I said, raising my temper. Getting pretty loud. I was angry. I was mad.

'Please.' He said and tried to grab my hand .

I instantly snatched it away .

'Please? Really. What did you do when I kept saying please to you. To get you to stop hurting me. You wanna know what you did.? You kept going not giving a fuck.'

I was so angry. I huffed and I got up and walked away. He didn't even come after me. He just let me walk. While he just sat there. doing nothing.

****************************************************************

Why did I even come here.