My entire class was all at the restaurant, it was honestly overwhelming, but I was fine. We were just all eating, "hey are you ok?" Antonio asked, "uh oh yeah I'm fine" I said, "are you sure?" He asked, "yeah why wouldn't I be" I said, I honestly really wasn't, I felt nervous for some reason, here you are at a dinner with all your classmates, oh but what's this, you look anxious? Is it because everyone is going succeed and you're not? I guess that big dream to move to America is all a fantasy, that will never become real. I hated this voice, I wanted to get rid of it, it was making me really anxious and scared, I don't even know how to describe it.
About an hour later everyone was still having fun, I still was hearing that voice, "everyone!" Some girl shouted, "I wanna have a toast!" She said happily, "we are all going different way, some of us are going very far or staying here in Milan, but I hope everyone has an amazing life after high school!" She said, and everyone cheered, "and what if some of us are not successful?" I asked, everyone looked at me, "huh? What do you mean Cathalina?" She asked, "what if some of us have super big dreams but they can't achieve them because they feel like everyone is so happy to be graduating but you're scared to be an adult and go out into society?!" I yelled as my voice started to break and tears filled my eyes, I then went silent, and realized what I had said, "um I'm gonna go get some fresh air" I said breathing heavily, and ran outside.
I couldn't breathe, I felt like I was dying, I wanted to cry and scream, I was sobbing kind of loudly as I was breathing heavily, your not good enough! You'll never be good enough!, that voice just kept repeating that over and over again. Then I heard a very familiar voice, "Cathy are you alright?" It was Antonio, I got up and hugged him, I sobbed loudly, "I can't breathe, I can't breathe" I said, "shh it's ok" Antonio said as he hugged me tightly, I just stood there sobbing as we hugged.
A few minutes later, I had calmed down and we were just hanging out outside, "hey Cathy?" Antonio said, "yeah?" I said, "I lied" he said, "huh? About what?" I asked, "you remember a couple weeks ago at your birthday party?" He asked, "yeah?" I said, "when I was really drunk, I remembered everything" he said, it took me a moment to realize what he was talking about, but when I did me face went so red! "I love you Cathalina" Antonio said, I paused for a bit, I couldn't say anything, "I know" I said "and I love you too but I can't" I said, "what do you mean?" Antonio asked, "I mean it's just, what's the point of love if it's just gonna end?" I said, "me and Mario didn't last, you and Aurora didn't last, not even my parents lasted!" I said, "when I realized I was in love with you, I promised myself I wouldn't tell anyone, I told myself to stop loving you, but that's just something I can't do" I said, "that's the thing with love" Antonio said, "you never know if it's going to work out, but you know what they say 'it's better to have loved than lost" he said, I smiled, then Antonio grabbed my hand, "can I kiss you?" He asked, I didn't say anything and kissed him.
"HOLY CRAP!" Lucia said, she was in the doorway to the entrance, me and Antonio quickly backed away from each other blushing, "oh no please continue, I was enjoying it" she said trying tease us.
When we got home it was kind of awkward, I just gave Antonio a hug and went to my room. As I closed my eyes the voice came back, oh you think you're cool now because you confessed to Antonio? Like I said he'll just use you like the others, I ignored it and went to sleep, I know Antonio would never do that to me
YOU ARE READING
Downhearted (COMPLETE)
RomanceCathalina has never believed in love at first sight, soulmates or nothing like that, it's probably because of her parents, they had divorced when she was very young and she thought that love never works out. Love was unnecessary and stupid, but will...
