Him & I||A. Gallagher

14|Bored

"When you walk out the door and leave me torn. You're teachin' me, to live without it..."

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Aidan's Pov:

What Y/n didn't know is that I saw her walk out the door, knowing that the only times I'd see her is at school. In class, at lunch, or walking by in the hallways of the school.

I didn't want her to leave, she was the only thing keeping me together and now because of my stupidity I made her leave.

"You're a joke Aidan, of course she left because of you" is all I could think right now other than the image of her leaving. It felt like the time when I found out my bestfriend Leo was moving away, since then I haven't talked to him.

I wanted to call her, tell her to come back and that I was sorry, because I didn't want to lose her too.

I was attacted to her, and I hated it but I loved her so fucking much. It felt like that when she wasn't around I couldn't even breathe properly, it was wrong to me to love someone this much but I did. I loved her.

If I called her already it'd show how pathetic I was, I already was by pushing her away. Calling her would make it worse, she probably didn't want to talk to me and even if I did call she wouldn't answer me. Which I deserved if I were to call.

I had nothing now that Y/n was gone, I was alone again like always. I forgot what it was like for a second, I went upstairs to my room and saw some things out of place. The closet door left open, when I went to close it her things were gone.

It was as if she was never here at all. "Hey, have you seen Y/n?" I heard Yelena say from my doorway, I wiped my eyes feeling that they were damp, either I was starting to cry or was crying.

"She uh.. she left.." I was trying to avoid saying that, but Y/n was usually with me and I knew where she was, but now she was gone. "Ok.." Yelena's footsteps became quieter while she walked away from my room, I went over and shut the door.

I leaned against the door slowly feeling my legs give out as I began to cry, now on the floor in tears. I didn't care that I was a guy that was emotional, to me it felt normal to be emotional.

But at the same time I hated being emotional because of everything that's happened. To me it felt like people would judge me on why I was so emotional about everything, afraid of being told so many things that ran around in my head.

To the point it would give me a headache or even want to just scream for no reason. Just something to make it stop.

'Get over it'

'Act like a man'

'You act like such a pussy'

Those were only a few that have been told to me when I've been caught crying or getting mad. That's why everytime Y/n was around I'd try to hide it but when she was around I couldn't keep them in, the anger, crying, yelling, you name it.

Sometimes I just wanted to turn them off, but at the same time not to.

Sitting at my door my knees were up against my chest a little, I brought up my arm and lifted up the sleeve looking at the cuts, what the fuck was wrong with me?

I could feel the tears coming back to me, I ran my fingers through my hair trying to calm down. But I just couldn't, screw it.

I took my phone out of my pocket and called Y/n and waited for her to answer. While it rang I felt like I was being desperate, maybe everything ever said to me and about me was right all along.

I'm pathetic

Nothing

Useless

And waste of space

I gripped on to the phone holding it to my ear while it kept ringing, please answer me Y/n. "The person you are trying to call is not available at this time, please try aga-" I hung up and dropped the phone, breaking down and pulling at my hair.

Goddamn it, why. I stood up and grabbed a jacket off of my bed and put it on, then picked up my phone putting it back in my pocket and left the room and went out to go and look for Y/n.

It was probably wrong in so many ways, but I knew she didn't want to go. She was manipulated into going back home, she wasn't ok when it came to that place.

And as bad as it sounded I didn't want her there, because I knew that she wasn't safe.

Just by the couple minutes that her mom was here for, I could see how scared she was, and probably all the things that's happened to her came back to her after seeing her mom. She shouldn't have to feel that way because of her, and Y/n knew too.

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-This chapter felt short for some reason, but I'll be posting soon depending on what I have going on this week.

Have a good day/night <3