Ghastly. (Jurdan)

Chapter Five

"See, I knew you were missing me." I laughed, slopping some of my drink across the bar. Everybody else had been asked to leave, but Cardan had glamoured the bartender to allow us to stay and to continue bringing us drinks. 

"I've missed having someone tell me what to do." He grinned and looked away. "It's not been easy without you, having to make all these choices by myself. I'd rather have my senechal -"

"-Your Queen." I interjected. 

"Yes of course, I'd rather have my Queen beside me." He took a long sip of his drink. 

I sighed and followed suit. "Well, whose fault is that?"

"Mine, as so many things were when we were together." He moved his hand back to my leg. "Remember that time behind the throne room?"

I swatted at his hand again but he persisted. "The only time, Cardan. That was the only time that happened." I tired to conceal it, but a nervous shiver ran through my body. "And I would very much like to forget it. It was... embarrassing." 

He shook his head and looked at me, deep and intently. "For you, maybe." His fingers traced little spirals against my goose-bumped flesh. "For me it was an entirely different story."

"Tell me your version then." I pressed.

"I was furious. At you mostly. To suggest I seduce Nicassia? She wasn't the one I wanted, Jude." I felt my cheeks flush. "I yearned to feel you beneath me. I wanted to feel your mortal skin on mine. I think you wanted it too, I remember the way you moved against me. I was born into magic, my dear Jude, I always thought I knew what it felt like but... something about you in that moment... I hadn't really  felt it until then." 

The knowledge that he could only speak the truth chilled me to my core. I tried to find tricks and riddles in his words but every time I came up short. My breath caught in the back of my throat and I tried to pull away but his grip on me wouldn't allow it. "You're drunk, Cardan."

"And yet I feel sober as a monk. That feeling it lingers. Every time I touch you, I am scorned to know that Locke touched you first, that I ever laid my hands on you in malice. I have wanted you since I have known you and although I have dealt with those feelings poorly in the past, it is you I want. Only you. So yes, I have missed you." This time, Cardan pushed himself away from the bar, offering out his hand. "I beg you ignore me. I have felt so much for you since you have been gone. I have longed for you Jude. I have longed for you and I will long for you until you return to our home." 

My body twitched with anticipation, awaiting his next move. His vulnerability was startling and I wanted nothing more than for him to kiss me. Or kill me. The sensation was often tricky to pin down when it was brought about by Cardan. I felt myself move towards him, leaning in for the release of his lips on mine, but found that he did not meet them. "What's wrong?" I breathed. 

"I do not desire your pity. I do not wish to be kissed under the duress of my broken heart. I want you to want me too."  I finally took his hand and he pulled me away from the chair. He placed his free hand on my waist and swayed slowly with me. 

"Last time you held me like this, you said you hated me." I rested my head against his chest, listening to the rapid beating of his immortal heart. 

"Maybe I thought I did. But I know better than that now." 

                                                                                                ***

We swayed like that together for a while, Cardan's hand occasionally finding it's way to stroke my hair. My heart swam with so many unanswered questions, feelings I had left untouched for as long as I could. He rested his head against mine and breathed softly against my braided horns, at last he let go.

"Do you suppose we should relieve our man from his duties?" He asked, nodding towards the bartender. "I think he has served us long enough."  I nodded and he left me to remove the glamour. I imagined that next time  the man played the lottery, his numbers would come up or he would have a habit for finding money in the street. 

When Cardan approached me again, he had a certain spring in his step and a devilish gleam in his eyes. "What is it?" I asked nervously.

"Your sister is clubbing?" He said. 

"Yes..."

"What say you, we do the same? I should like to try it before I return to Elfhame." 

I pondered this for a moment, would anything in the mortal world live up to what High King Cardan was used to? Well... I suppose I did.