Im gonna admit, im fucked up. I realize that. But tonight i did something way more fucked up then i have ever thought i could. It was for eli though. Everything was for eli these days.
That's all i thought about. I could see her face, her smile, the way her eyes lit up every time she looked at me. When i closed my eyes that's all i saw.
So when she found out the truth about the bet i lost it. I went back to barry's. Got high to try and forget her, to try and get rid of any feelings i had for her. Just for a while.
But she never left, she may have physically left but mentally and emotionally she would always be there.
I will do anything to get my girl back. No matter what it takes, but i've learned not to go after her friends. I learned that the hard way.
The door opened, my father walking in. Bitch. He has never been a good man, ever. And she made me realize how much of my life he was controlling and that his actions were affecting my life. She pulled me out all that.
Thank you elliott
"is...she alive?" i asked. What else am i suppose to say to the person who made me do this. If he didn't make that noise i wouldn't have missed and shot peterkin. I blame him
He just shook his head. Of course she isn't.
"no?"
"no"
"okay, okay" But i'm still going to panic. I should turn myself in. I should do the right thing, that's what elliott would want right? for me to do the right thing?
"what did you—what did you tell the cops? are they coming here?"
"i told them john b did it" No, no, no, no. She told me not to mess with her friends if i wanted to keep seeing her. so i stopped, and ward cameron here just ruined that for me
"told them john b did it..." i have to pretend i'm not freaking out.
"that's good, yes, that could work"
"rafe i need you to go to your room, i need you to clean up, take a shower all right? anybody asks you, you were here, all day, doin' maintenance on the Druthers."
"no, rose knows i wasn't here"
"i will talk to rose okay? Please just do what i say" I really wish i couldn't, but i have to.
"what about sarah?"
"what about Sarah?"
"what about sarah—sarah has a big mouth okay?"
"sarah's fine" No she isn't, she will tell elliott every thing and ruin everything. I had a plan to talk to her, to try and fix this but fucking sarah is going to ruin it.
"she won't sell the family out, she won't hurt us"
"no you don't understand, you didn't see her in the car, she's flipping out dad."
"i don't care" fuck him of course he doesn't
"rafe! stop!"
"i have a suggestion-" yelling at your son? not fucking healthy dad, this isn't normal.
"i don't need your help right now, i ddint need it then, i don't need it now" I wanna punch him, i forgot he thought i helped him. That was all for me, and elliott. I wanted to scare him, not shoot peterkin.
"i just need to think! so please, go clean up!"
silence.
"you understand right?" my eyes were watering now. I need to get these tears out, i need to. I want a hug, from elliott. I need one.
He won't even look at me, why am i not surprised?
"you understand?"
"understand what rafe" ward signs
"why i did it." i was spooked, but i have to lie. For elliott.
Tears ran down my face as i continued, "you were in trouble and i was protecting you"
"okay? look, me, dad."
"rafe" where is my girl when i need her. I need to hold something. more importantly someone
"not sarah okay? it was me" He walks toward me, every step he takes his smirk grows a tiny bit.
He cups my face, looking straight into my eyes.
"i'm sorry, uh...."
"i know. come here. come on" Wrong person, not the person i want a hug from. Wrong fucking person.
"come on bud, i'm sorry"
"i love you" bullshit. These are fucking lies.
I just miss my girl. my elliott.
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Aᴜᴛʜᴏʀs ɴᴏᴛᴇ They will be back, we will get another rafe and eli scene before the book ends....
ALSO LOOK AT THESE
i did that tiktok trend with rafe and eli bc i'm literally in love with them both!! So here's if eli did it!!
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and here's if rafe did it, made the handwriting a bit messier and less drawings bc he can't draw and he had eli help him with the wing-
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