Tainted Souls

Maverick's Inner Thoughts (BONUS)

Maverick's Inner Thoughts (BONUS)

Some Journal Entries Revealing Maverick's Inner Thoughts and Feelings From Memorable Scenes in the Book:

The Moment I Met Her

I wanted her from the moment that I saw her. That was back when I was an eighteen year old freshman in college.

She was just walking down the halls with this one girl. She had a radiant smile and a kind disposition. They were chatting about this boy band named BTS, which I couldn't help but feel jealous about. I wanted to be the one that she talked about like that to the other girl, and I didn't even know her name.

That was when it hit me that I had fallen in love at first sight like a stupid fool. But I knew that girls who seemed too innocent and pure for me like her wouldn't end up having a fairytale ending with someone like me. She probably liked someone that was her counterpart. Maybe someone like Hunter Wells, considering how he had a perfect reputation.

I was fucking stupid as hell to make an excuse to see her more often, considering the fact that I never had a class with her or bumped into her on campus. It was ironic how we were going to the same school for three years, yet I never ended up bumping into her.

I wasn't the type of guy that knew how to express my feelings. I did remember something my dad said to me before I died, though.

Veni, Vidi, Vici. I came, I saw, I conquered. That was the perfect phrase from my culture that I could use to describe how the events played out when I first met her.

It was the code I lived by. In fact, it was the same tactic I decided to use to lure in the girl and win her over. Acting like a prince charming by getting her flowers and offering to carry her books wouldn't do well for me. Why? She'd see that it was an act someday. I couldn't be that guy for her. I had to see if she wanted me for the real me and would fall for the real me. I also didn't feel good enough to pursue her properly like a real man would.

I was the type that would rather have my hand on her throat and have her tied up as I had my way with her. That was my idea of owning what was mine. I didn't want her to be afraid of the dark, psychotic side of me that my therapists, psychologists, and psychiatrists were all afraid of.

Besides, I was never a killer. Although I did have fucked up tendencies, I loved with such intensity to the point where the world's hardships would all be taken down if it were just to earn her love.

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The Party - Our First Interaction

I wasn't mad at her because she had insulted me. I was more disappointed that she didn't look at me the way I looked at her. It made me even more determined to find an excuse to make her be a part of my life. I was diabolical with my plans. I knew that. But something deep down told me that Aera was a part of my destiny.

Why had I been stupid to the point where I declared war against her? Right, that was what happened when you practically grew up in a family with no sense of love or security. I was acting like Ares chasing after Aphrodite. Love and war. They created chaos together since they were complete opposites.

And for some reason, that fucking terrified me. Interacting with Aera only deepened my feelings for her. It didn't matter if I tried to act like I hated her. I still felt this crashing feeling in my heart whenever she was near me. My heart wasn't just beating. My entire world flipped upside down from the moment that she bumped into me.

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The Top Incident

I didn't want her to be in that situation. She was driving me crazy with how jealous and possessive she was making me. I wasn't obviously good with girls, though, so I would never admit that to her face.