Fireworks 1 and 2

Chapter Eighty-Seven

    "It was a long time ago," Drake reminded her. "Over time, I learned to be more direct, more honest with myself about what I can and can't handle. But back then, yes. There were times when I took advantage of my status. There were times when I treated my girlfriends wrong. I'm honest about that, in conversation and in my music.

    "And like an idiot, I would keep trying. I would keep trying to make a relationship work when a part of me knew it wouldn't. It couldn't. Not with what I was trying to do. I was trying to make the impossible happen. I barely had any time to see them. Meanwhile, while I was on tour, women were coming at me every which way. It was just..." He took a deep breath, rolling his eyes upwards. "Needless to say, those relationships didn't work out. Most of them just fizzled out over time. Others ended under more heated circumstances. And then Free came along."

    Her heart twinged at the way he said that last sentence. He still had love for her. And of course he would, if he'd spent years being with her. It still hurt to hear that love change his voice as he spoke now, though.

    "Free was...a breath of fresh air when I needed it," he said, rolling over onto his back and staring up at the ceiling. "I would get so fed up with the industry, with the behind-the-scenes of it all, with the bullshit. I just wanted to make music. Make music and put it out there for people to enjoy. I had no interest in the circus sideshows that the media tries to pull you into. There were times when I just wanted to throw in the towel because it gets crazy. False rumors made up about you, women claiming to have slept with you and leaking stories to the press. Which usually doesn't have a negative effect, until you have girlfriend. Then she's doubting you, all over a lie. Relationships ended over shit like that, too. I've told you before...dating me isn't easy. Stories will come out about me, many of them false. And the woman at my side has to be able to handle that. It's a lot to ask a woman to handle, which I understand. But in order to date me, it's necessary. Gossip media is a beast. That, in and of itself, can wreck relationships. If you let it.

    "And that was the thing about Free, though. She was smart. One of the smartest women I've ever come across. She didn't buy into the bullshit. If it didn't come from me, she didn't trust it. She was...a rare breed." He paused again, staring up at the rocky ceiling. He lifted a hand and laid it on his bare chest.

    Mia frowned and looked away from him, hating the sight of the nostalgia written all over his face.

    "When it felt like everything was falling apart, she was the one that held me down. Long story short, she was different. And because she was different, I wanted to try to make it work with her. Same story, though. Things started off great. But the pressures of the industry...were no joke. We argued. All the time. She was essentially back in Toronto, waiting for me to come and visit whenever I had time. And silly me, I thought that I could go hard for a few years, and then have more free time to spend with my friends, family, and my woman, but...it doesn't really work with that." He narrowed his eyes and gestured with his hands as he spoke. "The entertainment industry in general has changed. Fans have grown fickle. You take a year off, or two years off, the way music artists used to do, and by the time you return, you're irrelevant. So I couldn't take off time the way I wanted to. And over time, it only got worse, because the bigger I got, the more appearances I had to make just to keep everything running smoothly. Then there were artists that I was signing to my OVO label and...well, shit got crazy."

    She continued staring off in the distance, listening to him speak.

    "Free and I were still off and on, still fighting, when I got this bright idea. The relationship wasn't working as-is. It just wasn't. There was too much going on, and I was apart from her way too often. I didn't want to just call it quits with her, though. I loved her way too much for that. So I got this idea that I could go off, do me and conquer the game, and then come back to her and we could be together. Happy. Just...enjoying life together.