Fireworks 1 and 2

Jungle: Chapter Forty-Four

    "You said you would stay with me, so please tell me why, I'm searching for the truth that is wrapped up in that lie?" Mia repeated the words over and over in her head, tapping the end of her pencil on the notepad. She hadn't felt like getting out of bed that morning, so she'd thrown on bare essentials after showering: deodorant, lotion, bra, panties, black hoodie, black sweatpants, and a black baseball cap. Black to match her mood. "You said we were forever, but boy if that's true, tell me why you're making me chase after you?" She nodded her head up and down, humming the music that would go behind the words.

    The door to the studio opened and Nicki walked in, wearing black sweatpants, a pink t-shirt, and a black baseball cap on her head. It was as if she'd checked in with Mia prior to dressing; their outfits were nearly identical. She greeted the producers and studio engineers as she entered, and laughed when she saw Mia. "Look at you, making me feel like a slacker. You're already up and at it? And writing?" She set her purse and water bottle down on the table in front of the couch.

    Mia closed her notebook. "Just a little something I'm working on."

    Nicki held her hand out. "I want to see."

    "It's really not...it's really not anything, just something that was in my head that I needed to get out," Mia insisted, holding the notebook to her chest.

    Nicki wiggled the fingers of the hand that was still extended. "I. Want. To. See."

    Mia sighed and looked down at the notebook.

    "If you're taking this long to show me, I know it's going to be good," Nicki chirped, bouncing onto the couch and tucking one leg beneath her.

    Reluctantly, Mia handed over the notebook.

    Nicki opened the notebook and flipped through a few of the pages. "Which one is-" She stopped mid-sentence, her eyes scanning one of the pages she'd flipped to. Nodding her head, she said, "This is the one you were writing." She read over the words, said a few of the lines out loud, and raised her eyes to look at Mia. "This is good. This is really good."

    "Thank you," Mia said appreciatively.

    Handing the notebook back over to Mia, Nicki asked, "Do you know what you're going to do with it?"

    Mia shrugged and blew out a puff of air. "I don't know...they're just words that I was tossing around."

    Nicki tugged at the ends of her hair. "Are those words...are they how you feel about Aubrey?"

    Mia lowered her eyes to hide the pain that must have shown in them at the mention of his name. Days had passed, and he still hadn't called her, still wasn't responding to her text messages. She'd never experienced this side of him before. Over the course of a year and a half, she'd witnessed him cutting off other people who'd done him wrong, but she hadn't been on the receiving end since they'd started dating. "He's not responding to my text messages, and he hasn't called me," she said, struggling to keep her voice level. "Even with the lack of communication, I can feel how angry he is, how hurt and disappointed. Knowing that he's disappointed in me is...one of the worst feelings in the world. I can still write. I can write better than when I'm happy, actually, but everything else? I can't function outside of this studio, outside of the use of my paper and pen."

    "I know exactly how you feel," Nicki assured her. "I haven't been in many relationships, but the few I have been in overlapped, for the most part. It wasn't easy telling where one ended and the other began. I've had someone I loved do me wrong, and I've done wrong to someone I had love for. We are human. Shit happens. You know? And you didn't even do anything, not really. What you did is nothing in comparison to some of the things I've done."

    The words were meant to console Mia, but somehow they only served to make her feel worse. "I don't know what to do. I feel like I shouldn't just sit here and wait for him to come around. I feel like I should fight for him before he decides to move on, but how do I do that when I can't even get him to respond to a text message or voicemail?"

    "Do you need another few days off?" Nicki questioned, her brows furrowing.

    Mia shook her head. "It was unprofessional of me to have taken days off to see him the first time. I can't do that again. I know studio time is expensive."

    "Aubrey is like a brother to me," Nicki told her, leaning forward and grabbing her bottled water from the table. "He and I have had our misunderstandings. We've had arguments. Even when I was the one in the wrong - which was rare, trust me - he took whatever time he needed to process the situation, but then he was always fair about it. Eventually he gave me time to tell him where I was coming from. So just...give him time. His ego is bruised right now, and you know men. When their ego is bruised, the healing process can take a while."

    "If he comes around," Mia muttered.

    "I'm sure he will," Nicki said. "And I wouldn't tell you that unless I really believed it. Just give him time and space."

    But I don't want to give him time and space. I could barely handle being away from him for a few days. How am I going to handle being disconnected from him for longer than that? Mia groaned in frustration.

    Nicki laughed. "What you're going through sucks. It does. But the silver lining is that amazing music can come from pain and heartache and situations just like this one. So channel all of what you're feeling and put it into your lyrics. You've already started, and what you've written so far is amazing. Just...stick with it."

    Mia nodded.

    "For now, though, I'm going to need you to put that song aside, so we can continue work on my album. My fans are driving me crazy asking for a release date. I love them to death and I'm sure they love me, but if I don't give them an answer soon, they're gonna come looking for me." Nicki rubbed Mia's shoulder. "But if you ever want to talk, about anything...music, the Aubrey thing, whatever...I am here for you, okay?"

    "Thank you so much," Mia said appreciatively.

                                                                                  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Raleigh, North Carolina. The PNC Arena was packed. The energy level was high. But it was the same as Tampa and Atlanta. There was a poignant sense of disappointment once Mia's voice played out over the speakers. The audience still cheered him on, still screamed for him, but they were disappointed. One song. One song, missing one person caused them disappointment so evident that Drake was able to pick up on it from the stage he performed on.

    As he walked into his dressing room, OB and Chubbs trailed in behind him. OB and Chubbs exchanged glances. Chubbs tilted his head towards OB. OB rolled his eyes and stroked his red beard. "So, Aubs...you know what this means, right?"

    Drake turned towards him, running a hand over his head. "What does it mean?"

    "I don't know how else to say it, so I'm just going to say it," OB said, stretching out his arms. "But... man...you need Mia."

    Drake closed his eyes and turned his back to them. He didn't want to admit that OB was right. OB being right meant that Drake would have to work out some kind of deal with Nicki and Beyonce to pull Mia from their scheduled work time together. Even worse, OB being right meant that Drake would have to see Mia face to face, day in and day out on the tour. He wasn't ready to have a conversation with her right now, much less see her day in and day out while traveling across the country. "Fuck," he muttered under his breath.

    "You know I'm right," OB said.

    "Yeah," Drake admitted. "You're right." Now, all he had todo was figure out how he was going to manage being around Mia when just thethought of her right now was making his heart split in half.