comebacks// funny comebacks and insults

COMBO

The difference between pizza and you. Is that I asked for pizza.
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Hey, unless you're Google, stop acting like you know everything.
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Of course I talk like an idiot. How else would you understand me?
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Somewhere out there is a tree, tirelessly producing oxygen so you can breathe. I think you owe it an apology.
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Person; Haven't I seen you some place before?
You: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.
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I don't care what you think about me. I don't think of you at all.
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I'm not ignoring you. I'm just trying to hold my breath, hoping I pass out.
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I'm not insulting you. I'm describing you.
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Don't like my sarcasm? Well, I don't like your stupid.
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Remember when I asked for your opinion? Me neither.
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Excuse me, I can't hear you over the sound of how wrong you are.
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I don't know which face to talk to, since you have two.
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Second combo xx