Pale Fragments

dancing in the dark

And what is it to laugh alone?

Xadrin thought himself alone.

He learned to laugh in harmony

to what he truly felt, artlessly

hiding the strange sounds we

animals make when we're happy.

To take that feeling, to inward feel

a thought that it must be made real,

though it isn't heard.

He didn't know a word

of what you know; that Anders watched along,

and Grace was there, humming to their songs.

*

"This is how he began his story to me. Anders I will tell you, I shouldn't have ever spoken to the King of the Last War," the Robot will say, continuing her story to eleven-year-old Anders. "I meant to fix what is unfixable. I've learned since then. I was taught wisdom in this encounter. It was...humbling."

She clears her throat.

"'There was a woman who knew loneliness, and rejoiced in that friendship.' Isn't that beautiful? I think so. (Don't--this is a side-note, Anders, but it's important: [Grace often trailed off into tangents, her voice the brush of an impressionist painter.] Don't follow me. Don't do as I say because I say it. Take from my words what you will. Do you understand?"

("I think. Like being a cafeteria Mormon?"

("What's that?"

("It's bad. It means you take the food God has commanded you to eat and only choose what you like. Or, something like that. But they mean it, like, with the commandments."

("Oh. Yes. Like that. You don't want to get too full. You'll shit yourself." Anders gasps then giggles bashfully.)

"Anyways," the Robot says. "The King taught me, fixed me instead of...well. He greeted me as his God, as you did. His God was different than yours."

Anders turns his head to the side, perplexed and teetering into defensiveness.

"He told me about a dream he'd had the night before which, according to him, I appeared within. It was a dream about a Mountain, with a capital 'M', or [Mountain] in his language."

"Whoa, that sounded cool."

"Kinda strange, isn't it?"

"I haven't heard a word like that before."

The Robot smiles.

-

The Mountain!

There is one Mountain and One Truth to go along with it. Within this Mountain there are lesser Mountains which fit together across the range to create something complex and varied. And yet there is still, simply, only one Mountain.

Besides "One Truth", this Mountain has been called many things. You will hear some of its names as you grow older, Anders. Many of them, though different, will be said to you as though they were the only name, urging you to call the Mountain the name they have chosen for you. Some names have been forgotten or are mentioned only as an example of how silly your ancestors were, though these names were once held with complete respect as if they filled the whole world when spoken. The Mountain has been called Yahweh- that's my favorite one. It means "I Am" in Hebrew. Isn't that beautiful? It has also been called Zeus, Jesus, Ra, the Dao. Cool names, aren't they? They are powerful, heavy names to say. There are many, many others.

You will travel across many (or only a few) Mountains. You will never see the entirety of the Great Mountain and it is likely that you will never reach the top, though many will tell you that you must do so and that they (conveniently) know the only way there. You must listen to none of these people speak, Anders, as though they spoke the completeness of the One Truth. Don't even listen to me, though I try my best not to speak that way. Though I am doing so now, in a way, aren't I? It's hard. Take what you will and listen elsewhere, building up your own vision.