Daggers of love

chapter 8

Tw self-harm mentions,rape mentions 

Moonshine was being drunk up in the grave yard but I didn't want to be with people at this moment. After I got my bag filled with odd assortments of alcohol I headed to my spot. I pass by Marcus, I felt happy seeing him, that was until I saw what he was doing.

He was kissing maria, maria with a miraculously non blackened eye. I feel my tears well up again, my throat felt dry. I sped off, I know they didn't see me, on account of them sucking each other's faces off. After a little bit I arrived at my spot, it was a neat little clearing surrounded by flower beds. As a rat I get extra chores, but since I'm a rat from such a high statis family, Lin gave me gardening, so I made this spot for me. It's a nice patch of grass that could fit about three people, surrounded by flowers of all kinds. I lay there looking up at the sky, thinking about how shit my life has been so far, it has its ups, but the ups can't make up for the downs. Drinking away, I've made it through 1/2 of a large bottle of whisky so far. I only feel slightly tipsy, I was about to take another sip but I heard someone coming my way. It was Marcus, I take a look at him and drunkenly laugh, smirking.

"Nice cut" I said pointing at his nose "seems Chico wanted us to match" I pointed to mine. He laughed at my observation, God his smile is so cute.

"Yeah, I guess he did" he laughed out looking at me with loving eyes.

"How did you find me? No one know this place exists" I question, slurring my words slightly as I take another sip.

"Lin led me here. I was heading back to my dorms and he told me to return this to you" he pulled out my dagger from his picket, luckily he didn't lose it or the holster.

"didn't need to use it?" he shook his head, sitting down next to me, handing me my dagger. I take it, quickly lifting up my dress to reinstall the holster to my thigh.

"Oh my god, y/n" he exclaims, lifting my dress more, looking at the fresh cuts located on the top of my thighs "what happened?" stupid question honestly.

"What do you think happened Marcus, I was feeling like shit after Lex's comment about me and cock, so I did what any girl that is seen as a whore would do" I said a very matter of fact-lee. He just looked at me.

"So, you don't consume cock to escape reality?" Marcus questions.

"People think I do, truth is I've never made it that far with anyone at this school" I stated.

"So, does this mean you're a virgin?" what's with all the questions? I laughed, picking up the bottle again.

"nope" I said popping the p at the end, "uncle made sure of that" I take a large sip from the bottle. Marcus had an oh shit look on his face. I looked at him, laughing so hard I spat out my whiskey. "Where do you think I got this scar?" I pointed to my nose, laughing.

"Honestly I thought you got into a fight or cut yourself when playing with your daggers." He said, shrugging his shoulders, keeping a concerned look on his face.

"Wrong again!" I exclaimed. "Uncle threatened me with a knife during the "process", but did it anyways at the end" I explained, taking another sip of my whiskey before handing it to Marcus, him taking a sip too. He seemed a bit shaken up, even before I mentioned my uncle, wonder what's wrong?

"But why?" he questioned, again.

"it's what Italians do, we don't threaten out loud, we show that we have the ability to do something bad, it's more of a scare tactic. my dad went over to one of my aunties ex- boyfriend's places once, went inside asking for a cup of tea and while the guy's back was turned, he put his gun on the table. He told the guy that he will give all my aunties stuff back and that he won't be a dick about the breakup anymore" I laughed out, Marcus looked even more concerned.

"Do your parents know?" he questioned, his face showing real concern. God he's so hot when he's worried about me.

"They think I got it while playing with my daggers, because that's what I've told them." I decide I needed to lay down, so I did. Placing my head on Marcus's thighs. "I know you didn't kill those kids by the way. my reputation is a living lie detector for a reason" Marcus looked worried "don't worry, I won't tell anyone, I know you need this. And you don't need to tell me about anything you told Saya, I was there." He nods. "I'm everywhere" I joke, he laughs slightly, his smile making me smile.

"Thank you" he said his voice slightly cracking. I look up at him, a soft smile on my face.

"I could tell you weren't a hard-core killer, you're just a broken little boy who needs mommy and daddy, I knew the second I saw you under that bridge" I sat up, holding his cheeks in my hands, staring into his eyes.

"So, it was you" he said smiling, we both laughed as I nodded.

"You know maria and Saya are just using you" I stated, his face dropped, he probably knew, just didn't want to admit it. I lifted his face, looking deep into his soul "don't worry, I won't use you." I said softly before launching on him, pulling him into a deep hug, he was confused. I took my hands off his neck one at a time, leading his hands to my waist. Once on, he ran his hands up and down the curves, before sliding them around my back. "it's going to be ok" he pulled me close, burying his head into the crook of my neck. I felt some wetness come from his eyes, but not a lot. He smelt like blood, sweat and fire. not smoke like a cigarette, fire, strange assortment. We pull away, looking deep into each other's eyes, faces slowly itching closer and closer.

"You know" he started, "everyone's getting wasted in the grave yard" his face getting dangerously close to mine.

"ahuh" was all I could muster out. My breath hitching slightly

"Did you wanna go with me?" his voice quiet and slow, almost seductive.

"Maybe later" I reply, our foreheads touching, lips merely centimetres apart. Soon enough our lips touch, his hand found its way back to my waist as mine climbed to his cheek. He pulled me close, lips soft and sweet, he tasted like cigarette ash, which was expected. It was a beautiful moment until my brain decided to ruin it, flashes of maria and Saya entered my brain. I was no different from them, Marcus doesn't care about me, I slip from his grasp, my head landing on his shoulder and my hands dropped down to my lap, shaking. I begin to lightly sob, makeup only lightly smudged.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong?" he asks softly, holding me close, rubbing my back to sooth me.

"I saw you kissing maria, and I know you kissed Saya, I'm just going to be another girl on your list" I cried into his shoulder. He soothed me; he didn't respond to the list thing which made think I wasn't wrong. We stayed like that for a few minutes, it was humiliating but It felt safe.

I began to sober up, this wasn't good. I didn't want to stay in such a shit mood, I had to make tonight a good night. I got up, leaving Marcus's arms, leaving his warmth. "Right Lopez, no more moping, get your ass up". I grabbed his arm pulling him up and dragging him along.

"Where are we going?" he questioned.

"The grave yard of course, I said later, and now its later. You're not stopping me; we aren't going to ruin such a good night with tears. we are going to have fun and there is nothing you can do about it!" I exclaimed, Marcus didn't protest, he just laughed at my enthusiasm. My rapid switch in mood only catching him off guard for a second.

"You know for a loner, your pretty social" he commented as we make out way out of my secret garden towards to stairs to the grave yard.

"Marcus, I'm Italian what do you expect!" I exclaimed laughing continuing to pull him along. "I literally put on a $250 short black silk dress to drink alone in a garden."

"Yeah, I was going to question that"

"We Italians are just effortlessly elegant" I said spinning around, my other hand sliding up his forearm before turning back around. Making our way up the stairs we finally reach the graveyard. I immediately let go of Marcus, running up and pouncing on billy's back, both of us laughing. I get off and grab a red cup, downing whatever was contained in it. the night went on, laughing with friends dancing to music, etc. But the best part of the night was all the adoring looks Marcus gave me. Making me feel like I was wasn't just another girl on his list, at least I hope I wasn't. safe to say, it was a good night.