Letters to a person I'll never send

Dread

Feelings of dread come and go.
Like the tide in the ocean,
rising and falling in my chest.
Your hands are there,
but are they really?
Am I just imagining this?
Dreaming?
Wake up.
If this is a dream wake up.
This is cruel.
All i've ever wanted right at my finger tips,
and yet I still can't seem to grasp it.
Dread.
It's always there.
Around the corner,
around the bend,
and no matter what I always seem to run straight into it's chest.
I was looking behind me,
not forward.
Focus for once and maybe you wouldn't have this problem.
Lazy,
Stupid,
insignificant.
Dread.
Your hands are gone.
Your lips are gone.
Your eyes, are gone.
Were you ever really there?