Letters to a person I'll never send

What if im not enough

I'm scared,
and insecure,
and reckless.
You know that, right?
I mean, you have to at this point.
I'm never going to be good enough for you.
I've seen the people you've been with.
Prettier,
Skinnier,
Smarter,
their personalities even top mine.
I don't know what you're doing with me,
and i'm terrified that you're gonna wake up one day and realize i'm not worth the effort.
You're gonna wake up and realize i'm not what you want.
That you don't see a future.
You'll wake up and realize i'm not worth all my tears, and over thinking, and self doubt.
Not worth all the work that's gonna have to be put into this simply because I don't ever know what I want.
Not worth all the times you're gonna be disappointed or dissatisfied with me.
Not worth all the things i'm having to learn along the way.
And I'm sorry.
You deserve so much in this world,
and you're so close to it.
You out of all people I believe will make it, I believe in you more than myself, more than anyone i've known so far.
I love you more than anything.
I don't know if Im enough for you.
Because I take a look in the mirror and see someone I don't like.
But I look at her and all I can see are the things I'm not.
So if you leave I understand.
You say you don't plan on it, and you say you love me.
But i'm scared.
What if I don't compare.
What if I'm not enough for you.