I've always loved you.

"Oblivion by Emile Piney." Day 6

TW- Mentions of abuse, Self harm, Suicidal thoughts.

Alecs Pov
~~~~~~~~~

I still remember the day Arius broke his arm. He said he fell, but he was looking at me weird while in-front of his mom. I now realize, his mom was the cause. It was when we were 10.
I was so protective and always will be, so I swore to fight the floor everyday after that. I swear if I knew what actually happened then, I'd call every parent in the neighborhood to fight her.
I also remember all this major injuries. He had so much, that breaks my heart. His leg broke, Both his arms, Bruises, Concussion, everything. God, that disgusts me.

He was always the teachers favorite too, they would always ask him to come to their desk after class. I didn't realize it then, but he was always so uncomfortable around them. Did they.. touch him. I swear on my life ill kill those bitches if I see them.

I remember the story about has father. That story should be his to tell but... he would always say it was his fault when it wasn't even close to.

Why was I so blind?!

Did he sometimes or even all the time, want to kill himself?

I remember every time I pulled him from the wrists he would wince in pain. Does he.. self harm?

Oh, my love. I'm so so so sorry.

I remember the time I found a "Suicide" letter in his room to me. I suppose it wasn't meant to be found since wen he came back he snatched the letter out of my hand. I still remember the letter and what it said.

'Dear Alec,

Hello, my dearest friend. My dearest love. You may be wondering why I come upon and give you this letter.
This is a Suicide letter.

And I'm sorry. Please do not be ahold and blame yourself. It is not your fault. Nor is it for anything you would know of. I'm sorry for choosing this end instead of the end where I tell you what has been happening and possibly get help.
Maybe in my next life, I will meet you again.
Maybe I will be more happy.
Maybe we can always be together in that next life.

I would write more but I don't want to disappoint you too much.

How about I tell you a poem!

"Waiting in the shadows
dementia devastates
as sanity slowly
begins slipping away.

When your memory fails
life loses all meaning,
thoughts turn to suicide
and death becomes your friend.

Your heart morphs into a
desolate derelict,
a floundering vessel
not even love can save.

Hope's long been depleted
and trust doesn't exist,
only pain remains true
in this facade of lies.

And when reality's
stranger than any dream,
depression tethers your
soul to oblivion."

Oblivion by Emile Piney.

. It says "Your heart morphs into a
desolate derelict,
a floundering vessel
not even love can save."

But, I don't agree with that, for my situation. Maybe love can save, but in another life.

I give best wishes to you. I hope you find someone new.

I love you!

- Love, Arius.

P.s once you read this i'll probably be dead.'

And don't say "He obviously likes you" because one. that was years ago. AND it was probably platonic-

He isn't gay.

Whatever.

I forgot I was with Arius. Fuck I wasted my time its 3:50.

I sighed, I'm so sorry Arius.

I gathered my things and
kissed Arius's forehead.

I whisper in his ear.
"I love you, Arius. I'm sorry I have wasted my time with you. I promise I'll make it up to you."

I walk to the door and open it.

"Good night, my love."