Is love supposed to feel this way? It feels like I'm drowning in my own words. I feel so bad. I am supposed to love him with no doubts. He is a amazing person. I do love him, its just hard to. I feel like I have to worry about him adding to all my others. I have so much going on inside my mind. I'm not even a good lover for him. I love him more than anything in this world, but he probably doesn't feel the same. All my deppressy shit might make him think i'm a burden. All I do is give him extra worries.
Today was a bad day.
I did not take care of my rose today.
Well, it is only the morning
Its been 3 days since I got the roses and 4 out of 7 already died. 3 more days left in the week. Today feels weird. Alec is not next to me. Did he already give up on me? I wouldn't be surprised.
I decide to get out of my bed and get dressed, having the motivation to brush my teeth and wash my face for once. After washing my face I stare at myself in the mirror in front of me. What have I become to? My face looks so different. I dry my face and head downstairs where I hear no sound at all, Alec really did leave.
As I'm walking down the stairs I start to overthink me and Alecs relationship, if he really did leave, was he waiting to for a long time?
Am I that usele-
Suddenly colorful strings pop around me, and loud sounds carry out my thoughts.
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY ARIUS!!"
I hear a trio in sync yell out my name.
Its my birthday?
"What?"
I see the mixture look of surprise and confusion, form on their faces. Those faces soon became pity.
"Oh Arius, you forgot your own birthday, didn't you?"
Alec tells me in a soft pity like voice while coming near me and rubbing my shoulder.
"I guess?"
"Well I promise today will be fun!!!"
Skil says after my reply.
I highly doubt my birthday can be fun.
"Okay."
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First the trio brought me to a restaurant I always wanted to go to as a kid, rainforest cafe!
I ordered pastalaya, which was decent in tasting.
The atmosphere around me was quite astonishing, there being animals of the rainforest biome around me. It all looking creepy and nice at the same time. "Imagine this place while being high of the loop", I laugh to myself. Everyone laughs afterwards.
YOU ARE READING
I've always loved you.
RomanceYou ever think about, how if your homophobic friend, you have said to be the same, would react of you came out? Well in this situation, it didn't go well, or- did it?
