Year 2021+ Essays

Impulse

        ALONE

i write.

Keyboard clicking with each thing I type.

Just a bit lonely, and sad too.

There's nothing much left in my life for me to do.

        QUESTIONS

fill my irrational mind.

Such as, what would it be like if I were blind?

How might I accomplish this feat?

Perhaps by staring at the sun's ever glowing heat.

        WHAT

if a tornado swept through my home?

Would it simply crash to the floor like a glass garden gnome?

Winds tearing apart the wooden boards.

Winter filled tears falling at the sight of the spinning spiraled hoards.

        ALONE

i think.

My mind racing with unknown possibilities, which leaves no time to blink.

Sad and crestfallen eyes.

They are forced to watch as the light slowly but surely dies.

        THE

glimmering stars in the blank sky.

The golden sunsets that can make anyone cry.

The shining moon staring down with it's glorious light.

The cold water, falling to the depths of the night.

        FADING

away, everything goes.

Forever unknown to me, unlike those who know.

Forgetting the feelings of freedom and true happiness, anxiety washes over.

Frozen leaves falling off a four leaf clover.

        ALONE

and disoriented.

Is this happiness or is it fear?

Falling from great heights, both my standards and myself.

Up becomes down, mushed up mind, my own mentality materializing before me.

        HEALTHY

or maybe not.

I've learned to stop caring, like the people around me and whatnot.

I've gotten urges, stinging memories of never done actions.

Is it really bad to do what I imagine?

I suppose I'll just have to see off reactions.

        SCATTERED

and lonely is my brain.

Plots and scenarios filling the voids in my endless domain.

Dreams containing fictional people, ones I admire from afar.

Different dimensions separate us, but please leave it's door ajar.

        ALONE

in this cumbersome reality.

Maybe I'll be the beginning of new, un-repeated history.

Making my way to those mystical worlds unlike my own.

The bright colors being the only ones that are ever shone.

        BLANK

is my mind now.

I'm not even quite sure how.

White light consumes my soul.

If only this life weren't so dull.

        COLORLESS

i lay.

Might I now slowly decay?

My thoughts are all going away.

Marking the end of my impulsive day.

[2022-For Fun]