Dark shadow- Sideswipe bayverse story-

Chapter 17. It's not your fault

'Hi, Sweetspark. How are you doing?' I felt Sideswipe wrap his arm around me. 'I am good. How was your mission?' I asked. 'Good, it was fine. Just glad to be back,' Sideswipe chirped and laid down. 'What's wrong? You're not talkative,' he noticed and gently nudged me in a playful manner. 'Don't, don't touch me,' I muttered. 'Hey, Skyler. What's the matter?' he asked and sat back up. 'Nothing, Sideswipe. Please, don't. I am tired,' I sulked. 'Oh, okay.' I laid down in bed and shut my eyes. 'You're upset.' Sideswipe laid down next to me. 'I am not. Just leave me alone. I am tired. Go find your brother or whatever,' I sulked. He shifted closer and pulled me closer. 'I don't wanna lose you,' I mumbled. 'You're not gonna lose me. Is that what you have been worrying about all day?' he mocked. 'I don't want to lose the only one that makes me smile. You and your brother are the only reason I am motivated enough to get out of bed and make something of my life. I can't handle losing you both.'

'Hey...' He rubbed my head. 'You're not gonna lose us,' he stated. I nodded and curled up against him. 'I never used to be like this. I miss so many things. I miss doing my old habits. I feel like I am missing so many things and I don't fit here anymore. I should've died,' I sulked. 'Hey, don't say that. Why are you so depressed like this? What happened?' he asked. 'I am just pointing out the facts.' He hugged me. 'Get some sleep. I am sure you'll feel much better tomorrow,' he said. I heard him turn off the lights. 'Okay...' I whispered. 'Everything will be okay,' he added,-- kissing my head. He softly rubbed me and with that feeling, I fell asleep. The next morning, I heard the rain tapping against the window. I didn't want to get up. It's cold and rainy. I never liked rainy days. I curled up against my closest source of warmth. Sideswipe was still here but so was Sunstreaker on my other side. I closed my eyes again and snoozed.

When Sunstreaker woke up some time later, Sideswipe started to stir as well. 'Are you getting up?' Sunstreaker asked and softly nudged me. I groaned, 'yeah...' I tightened my grip on Sideswipe. 'Are you feeling better?' Sideswipe asked. 'Yeah,' I lied and forced a smile on my face. I showered and left my room, heading towards the medbay. My stomach was aching horribly. I walked up to the desk. 'Can I talk to Ratchet?' I asked. The lady behind the desk sighed. 'He can't fix your eyes. Why don't you go away and let him handle people who actually need it?' she asked. 'I want to talk to him,' I repeated. 'Come back later,' she snapped. 'I am not leaving. I want to talk to Ratchet,' I repeated for the third time. She sighed, 'look, I don't care about your eyes. I just want you to piss off. I am busy enough,' she scowled. 'Please, let me talk to him,' I muttered. There was no reaction. 'I wanna talk to him.' Still no reaction. 'It's not about my eyes. I swear, it's not about my eyes.'

Before I turned blind, people weren't rude and mean towards me but not everything changed. I felt like a bother to everyone. 'Are you deaf too? I told you to piss off,' she hissed. I stepped back, ready to leave. I hated the way people were treating me. I never treated anyone like this. I always tried to help people but humans didn't seem to return the favor. Now I understand Sunstreaker's hate for humans. I sat down in the cafeteria, eating on my own. The twins were out for a patrol and would catch up later with me. I perked my head up when I heard Ratchet's voice. I tried to locate where it was coming from but it was noisy. It was a struggle for me to move through a crowd. They always jostled me around, snapping at me for not paying attention to where I am going. I hoisted myself up, walking up to where I had heard his voice just seconds ago. I didn't hear him anymore. I stopped walking and listened closely, but I couldn't hear him anymore. I assumed he had left the cafeteria.

'Skyler? You're okay?' I jumped a little from Prowl's voice. 'I- I am fine. Just trying to find Ratchet. Is he still here? I can't hear him anymore,' I said. 'Yeah, he left.' I heard him placing something down and grasp my arm. 'Come on.' I followed him. 'Ratchet?' We stopped walking somewhere in a hallway. 'Skyler was searching for you,' Prowl said. He patted my shoulder before leaving. I heard him walking up to me. 'Are you okay?' he asked. 'No, I am not.' I took a deep breath. I hugged him. 'What's going on?' he asked, wrapping his arms around me. I listened to the sound of a heart beating below me. 'My stomach hurts. A lot.' He rubbed my hair. 'Alright, come with me.' He grasped my hand and took me with him.'Why are you trembling?' he asked after a minute. 'People became mean and rude now I am blind. Why is that?' I asked. 'I guess they like picking on weak people,' he replied. 'Weak?' I repeated with a snort. 'You're not weak. In their eyes you are. They love to pick on people who have a problem,' he said.

I laid down on the medical bed once we had arrived. He lifted my shirt. 'How did this happen?' he asked and I assumed all the bruising. 'Like you said... people like picking on people who are weak,' I mocked. He grunted and turned away from me. 'Do the twins know?' he asked. 'No, they don't.' He sighed softly and injected me. The pain faded quite fast, it even made me a little sleepy. 'You don't know who did this?' he asked. 'A woman' he hummed and rubbed my head softly. 'I am sorry,' he mumbled. 'It's not your fault,' I muttered. 'No, for not being able to help you,' he said. 'It's okay, it's still not your fault. You did what you could,' I stated.