Learning To Love Myself

Journal

Back to school I was,

I hated it.

But if I could see Luke,

I guess I can work with it.

I want to play around,

I don't want to follow any rules.

Luke was the only person

that made me happy in my childhood.

I kept a journal.

Wrote it with fear,

momeries,

and plans.

By plans I mean,

future plans.

Things I plan in the future.

A few days ago,

I wrote a plan.

I wrote this plan with fear.

You can even tell that I trembled

by the writing.

This plan will happen in

midnight, in the bathroom.

I haven't decided wether I should

hang or cut myself to death.

I know that Luke tried to help me,

care for me,

love me.

But I don't want to drown him with me.

Drown him from my sorrows

and tears

and fear.

I don't want to him to suffer too.

I have forgiven my parents

and myself.

I want to join my parents soon.

I want to see them again,

hold their hands again,

and hug them with all my might,

and love.

I'm Sorry Luke