Life With No Games

Chapter 6: Paralyzed

My daughter knows! My life is over. She knew and she didn't say anything! How could she possibly know! I'm panicking, but paralyzed. It takes all my strength to smile and more to ask, How?

     "Rue? I ask "What do you know?" I take a breath with every word I say. Rue notices how worried I am. She smiles a guilty smile as if she just slapped me, which it kind of felt like she did.

     "Um." She stammers. "Everything?" She says nervously, fiddling with her thumbs.

 I find that hard to believe. "How do you know?" I ask, more desperately than before. She tenses.

     "I-I-I" She bursts into tears. Peeta who is still in shock hugs her. We both do. 

     "Rue," I say, tears filling my own eyes. "How do you know?"

     "So-some gir-girls a-t my sch-ool." She says, between tears. "T-they." I stop her.

     "Shh, little duck." I stroke her hair fast, but lightly, trying to calm her down. "Please calm down, you're not in trouble." I expect that to help. It doesn't. It makes it worse. Tears spill down her face faster than ever. I decide to wait until she calms down, which takes a while. I rub her back. "What's wrong?" She takes a couple deep breaths and says.

     "A couple girls in my class were talking about you." She pauses and winces. "They were making fun of you by making fun of- me" Tears build up in her eyes, like a dam that's about to explode. I feel like I'm about to explode. My mom sense wants to beat up every kid that made her feel this way. I want get my bow and shove it into there snotty little heads! I clench my fists and let out an angry roar as if I was a lion. I felt like if I tried I could stop this very train. But then I freeze, parlayed in thought. They're just kids, kids can be mean. Right now I need to help my daughter.

     "There is no nightmare, is there?" I ask, concerned. Peeta's still in shock. I glare at him. He tries to help, but it doesn't work, more babbling is the last thing we need. Rue takes a minute, but nods.

    "I wanted to know what you would say." She says, embarrassed.

     "Rue, I was worried about you, you spent every night crying, not going to bed. I didn't want you to be scared." I say and finally Peeta chimes in.

     "Our past is history, there is nothing to be afraid of you are going to be fine." That suddenly chimes in a memory. I brought something for her. As a token of my love. I run into my compartment to grab it. When I come back Rue gasps.

     "Thats- That's," She stammers, trying to keep her cool. I hold out my mockingjay pin. The one that made me, me.

     "It's yours," I say, trying not to get emotional. "A good friend gave this to me, it kept me safe even when I was in danger. I kept me alive so I could be with you today." Tears roll down my face, the past creeping up my body into my brain, growing and growing. Now it's not just me, Peeta and Rue are both crying as well. I put it on Rue's shirt and wipe her tears away. "You're safe." I whisper.

     "AHHHH!!" Effie screams excitedly. I wipe away my tears and Peeta does the same "Little Rue, the pin looks amazing on you! Katniss finally after 25 years, you have one brilliant idea, passing the pin along to your daughter!" She squeals, it reminds me of the pigs that lived next door before the hunger games. Before everything. Before everything is such a nice thought, before I had to kill, before my sister died. Before may be a small word to you, but it is the best word on the planet to me. "Well now back to me. I hope you are ready because here is the new and improved Finnick Mellark, ready for the capital!" 

     "Oh no." I mutter, but I speak to soon. Finnick is in a white suit like the one Peeta was in for the 75 games interview. I calm down and fling my arms out as he jumps in them. "You look so handsome." I say, playing with his hair. He smiles, not Peeta's smile, not mine. My fathers. I choke up and hug Peeta like if I let go he might be in the clutches of the capital again and I promised myself I would never let that happen. I made a promise that I would keep him alive . At first that was just in the games, but now its my life purpose. I will keep him alive until I die.

     "Come on Rue." Effie says. "You need to be capital ready! Oh and Katniss, Peeta I have a surprise for you! Come come!"  I roll my eyes, Effie's surprises are never good ones. A huge ball gown, a replica mockingjay pin, But Effie surprises me again when I walk into a compartment with my prep team inside.

     "Octavia! Flavius! Venia! I gasp. I haven't seen them since... well I can't remember.

     "Katniss, your legs!" Octavia gasps and I giggle. Her skin still has a hint of evergreen, but she's not as plump.She's wearing a bright pink dress with puffy sleeves. Venia still has her golden tattoos, but I notice a new one. A mockingjay pin right above her eye. Her hair is grey and she looks like she finally accepted her age, which must be around 80 now. Flavius has changed the most. His hair is brown and he has given up on the corkscrew curls. But he still has his purple lipstick.

     "All of you look amazing!!" I say. And they all blush. Peeta is looking down at the floor probably missing Portia, which makes me miss Cinna.

     "The capital has really changed and so have we!" Venia says and sees Rue behind me. Flavius goes nuts!

    "Oh little Rue! I've known you since you were a baby! You look so old!" He starts pinching her cheeks and she looks more terrified than when she found out about the games. I pull her away.

    "It's wonderful to see you, really." I say. "Have you come to makeover me?" 

    "Of course we have! It's been twenty five years since the quarter quell and we must get you all styled up!" Octavia says, when Rue tries to leave Octavia continues. "That means you to Rue."

Rue has many looks on her face. Confused, surprised, excited, concerned maybe a bit scared.

     "It's okay." I say comforting her, even though my prep team is as harmful as a butterfly and as stubborn as a cat, they do look like a pack of hungry hyenas ready to attack their prey. It takes a couple of hours, but me and Rue in Effie's words are "capital ready!" Peeta is absolutely smothered by me when I'm finished. I playfully hit him and giggle one of those teenage girl with a crush giggles.

     "Places everyone!" Effie says as if she was a play director. I hold Rue's hand and Peeta picks up Finnick. My prep team is behind me and Haymitch and Effie are holding hands behind us. I grip Peeta's hand ready to face the capital with him and no one else.

     "Are you ready?" He asks, I pause.

     "Are you ready?" I ask. "Are all the... memories gone?" He knows what I mean and I'm thankful. I don't want to say "Are you not completely insane and about to kill me because someone gave you some crazy venom?" Peeta pauses as well.

     "I have my ways to help. Do you have some?" I nod. We both think of the same thing to help. Each other and our children. I kiss him on his cheek and hold Rue and Peeta's hand tighter than ever, ready to walk into my death trap all those years ago. Ready to walk into the capital and face my memories.

I'm ready to face the capital, hopefully.