Raven

Hi

For the next three weeks I keep taking care of him, still mulling over the fact that I'm the cause of everything.

He's gotten a lot better over time, now not needing the oxygen tank anymore. He's able to breath on his own. That's really good, it's a good sign. The colour of his skin isn't sickly pale either, now almost to his normal tone.

I almost work on autopilot, not even crying anymore when something happened that put Tadashi's life in danger, which only happened twice more. But I know he'll survive.

He will survive.

Everyday I talk to him, hoping that where ever he is, he hears me and would try making his way back. Back down to earth, to us.

To me.

Maybe though, maybe it would be for the best if after he wakes up and gets better, I leave. Leave him. Leave our friends. Leave the city. Leave from his life.

He'll be better off without me.

I'm sure of it.

Maybe he knows it already and he himself will ask me to leave.

I don't think I could handle that.

I can't leave him.

I won't be able to.

"You know, I feel like I'm the cause of this all. I'm sure you know the tale, that whenever something bad happens, or when someone dies, there's always a raven nearby. I understand now that it's me. I'm the raven. Heck, even my last name is literally 'Raven'!"

"Maybe it would have been for the best if I died in that fire." I leaned my back on the side of the bed, chuckling dryly, findind the fact slightly funny. I would've found it funnier, if only Tadashi wasn't hurt because of me.

I turn around and take his hand in mine.

"You'll be okay. Any day, any hour, any minute now, you'll open those lovely eyes of yours and brighten the world with your smile. I know it. And I'm not resting before you do." I give the back of his hand a kiss. A promise.

There's so much I want to tell you.

So much I should've told you.

I'm not able to keep it in anymore, I have to say it. Even though he can't hear it.

"Tadashi. I know you can't hear me, but I have to tell you something. For a while now, I've really liked you. More than a friend. I've just always been afraid you wouldn't feel the same so I have kept quiet. No matter what, I don't want to lose you as a friend. But right now it really doesn't matter, I have to say it.

I love you.

I really love you." I choke back tears,. Why am I crying?

Oh.

Of course.

This feels like I'm admitting I will propably never be able to see him again. So the confession doesn't matter either way.

"Now, I know you don't feel the same." I squeeze his hand, "So I will not ask you to wake up for me. But please, wake up for Hiro, wake up for aunt Cass, wake up for our friends. It doesn't matter for who you wake up. Just please. Please wake up."

Now I'm full on crying, once again.

I rest my head onto the side of the bed, too tired to keep it up.

I'm about to let go of his hand, but that's when I feel it.

A twitch.

So gentle, I feel like I imagined it.

But then it happened again, with a slightly more force.

My head snaps back up, and starts searching his face for any signs of him waking up.

Another twitch.

And then a very gentle squeeze, his body not having much energy after lying down for over three weeks straight.

I get closer to his face, to see better from behind the tears.

His eyes flutter open, very slowly.

"Hi." he smiles.