His Addiction

38| My goddess

[edited]

"Nevaeh?" I hear Octavius's faint voice come from behind the door. I give the stuffed cow one more squeeze as I listen to his voice one last time.

"Hey, Mio Dea. I know when I'm busy or not here and you miss me. So I got you this bear, or we'll say it's a cow. But he'll keep you company.

I know you are going to hate the name, but I named him Thing One."

I smiled at hearing his deep laugh. It's the laugh that always causes his dimples to show.

"I love you, Nevaeh, so much that it fucking hurts when I'm not with you."

I get up and unlock my door, opening it to see Octavius standing there with a black envelope in his hand.

"What's this?" I asked coldly. "Ezra asked me to give it to you if something ever went wrong." I took the small envelope, thanking Octavius before he left.

The envelope was black with gold writing on it. To My Goddess. I read.

I slowly sit on the bed. taking a deep breath before opening the black envelope and pulling out a white piece of paper.

Dear Nevaeh

If you're reading this, then my feeling was right. And I didn't make it. I just knew I had fought so hard.

Whatever happened before this was given to you, just know I didn't want to go.

There are so many things I want to say, but I have to fit everything on this piece of paper. Only Octavius knows that if anything were to happen to me, then my Mafia would go to you. Octavius will show you how to run the Mafia.

I'm so sorry, Mio Amore. I know I made so many mistakes, but you were never one of them. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I really wanted to have our forever. But in a world like this, it rarely happens.

You were the closest thing I have ever had to a fairytale.

Please find a way to move on. I need you to do that for me. I didn't want to leave you alone in this world. I hate myself for doing it.

You, Nevaeh Summers, showed me how to love. You showed me things I never knew existed. I'm so glad I had the chance to love you. I want you to be happy, even if that means finding someone else to love.

I'm okay with that. All I want is for you to be happy.

It's okay, my love; find your happy ending. I need you to do that. I need to know I didn't leave you on this fucked-up planet with nothing. I need you to live for me.

You knew when you left me because of the horrible things I said to you. That night, I went outside to look at the stars just because I knew you were watching them too.

It made me feel closer to you, even when you were far away from me. I never wanted kids until I met you. Please, Nevaeh, go find your happiness.

And by the way, Mio dea means My goodness. You're my goddess.

You are so beautiful, yet you can ruin someone as dark and horrible as me. You ruined me in the best way a man can be ruined.

Shit, I'm running out of room. I love you, Nevaeh Summers. I've loved you since the moment you got mad at me for saying that you were 17 and couldn't work in that stupid fucking bar.

But no, I was wrong. You were '18—such a big difference.

In another lifetime, my love,
Ezra King.

My laugh soon turns into cries. My tears stained the white paper.

Why couldn't I have saved you?

Sometimes the universe is cruel and hateful. It just wants to take every good thing in this world and destroy it.

But sometimes there's an Ezra that slips through the cracks. Even if it was only for a little while. I knew what it felt like to be happy and to be loved by someone as great as him. It was because of Ezra that I got to experience love.

Yeah, maybe he was the most feared Mafia leader, but to me, To me, he was kind and loving; he was everything I could need in a person.

Maybe not all fairytales have a happy ending, but I sure as hell got close to one.

Word count: 788

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