Runner Up || K.NJ ✔️

thirty one

31

( a/n: odd surprise! An authors note from me?! Anyway, this chapter is just as dramatic as the song attached above, so if you really want to indulge in the vibe you should read while listening! Enjoy, loves <3 )

  "You could've told me." You said as calmly as possible while placing your purse on your lap. That's all that could escape.

Namjoon's eyes narrowed onto your shaking leg. He picked at an open wound on his lip with his teeth. 

"I could've, but I didn't want to."

His response was cold. It made you think of the way he snapped at you about Katy in his office that day, therefore you froze.  

Unable to control it, your throat began to hurt.

"You didn't want to tell me that your father had a heart attack? That's scary, and probably something you should talk about—" You took a sharp inhale. "I shouldn't make this about me, but I could've talked with you. I could've tried to make whatever you felt, better."

"This is exactly why." He said from the opposing side of his couch. "This is exactly why I didn't say anything. If it doesn't matter to me, it shouldn't matter to you."

He wanted his words to make sense to you. He wanted you to understand so easily you'd both move past it.

He didn't realize he was wording the way he felt incorrectly.

Your face fell still as you exchanged glances.

"Alright. I guess I'll go home, then."

"You went to my friend's house behind my back and found out something personal, and now you're standing up to leave?" He said through frustration.

"Last time I checked relationships are personal." You said in a calm tone. "I had the feeling you were lying to me, and it turns out I was right."

He groaned while running his palms through his face. "Stop talking like that."

"I'm sorry? Like what?"

"Like a hurt...wife?" His palms hit his knees. "I didn't even lie to you. I told you I had a conversation with him. Not what it was about."

"I thought it had something to do with me. That's the only fucking reason I acted like this." You scoffed. "You know, I'd expect something different—"

"Why would it have anything to do with you?"

"I don't know!" You whined. "All these issues we've been having with each other in such a short amount of time, who wouldn't think so?"

"I don't want to argue with you, Y/n. But if I don't want to speak about it, you're supposed to respect that."

"That's exactly what I'm going to do then. I'll go, and you can stay here and decide when you're ready to talk to your 'hurt wife.'"

His lips parted at your words, seemingly snapping him back into reality. His left hand rose to reach for your face.

"Fuck. Not again. Listen,"

As you yourself expected, tears ran down your cheeks. He inched finally by your side in order to hold you tightly.

"I'm worried." You looked up at him. "For you, mostly."

The proximity between you two was so thin, he felt your breathing on his neck.

"What? Why?"

"I don't want you to leave if you're happy where you are." Your sentence escaped in a quiver.

Slowly, he shut his eyes. "They told you?"

"What's going on, Namjoon?"

He pulled you into his lap and the both of you sat down. Obviously, you moved off of him and sat beside him instead, making his chest tighten.

"My father is really ill in terms of his heart condition. My mother.." he scratched his neck. "Wants me to move back to Yeoui-Dong to be with them. To end things with my father on a good note."

"End things on a good note? Is recovery not an option?"

Namjoon clenched his jaw. No matter how he spoke to you, you still worried for his father. "Y/n please stop crying, I'm sorry-"

"Answer the question."

"He's technically been recovering for years. He's leaving soon, Y/n."

You nodded. Neither of you spoke yet a suffocating cloud of tension and stress hovered the room.

"I didn't mean it that way." He continued in terms of the wife thing, gripping onto your fingers as tight as he could to get your attention. "I'm under a lot of stress. I just, fuck..."

"I don't know, Namjoon."

"Yes, I'm a little pissed that you went over there without addressing it further with me, but I didn't mean to snap at you like that." He intertwined hands with yours. "I want you as my wife."

You finally looked at him again.

"Obviously, we aren't ready for that, but I wouldn't have signed those papers for your father if I didn't feel that way." He wanted to inhale every inch of you from this angle as he observed you. "It's just not a nice sight seeing you worry over something as shitty as my father."

"I thought you said you wanted to at least try and talk to him more, Namjoon?"

He nodded in agreement. "I did say that, but since you've been so happy, I wanted to put this aside and handle it on my own. I think that's where I went wrong as well...you were prone to find out either way."

You smiled half heartedly. "I was wrong too. I'm sorry." You didn't feel as if further explanation was necessary as you were now embarrassed. Your whole argument was bratty and spoiled.

"How did I manage to make this about me? God, your father is sick..."

"Now that I'm thinking about it, it has everything to do with you. You're my new life. I want you to help me with whatever's going on." He shook his head into the crevice of your neck. "You did nothing wrong. You're caring for me."

"Are you sure?"

Your face now fit in between his two palms. The heat of his touch made you feel lighter as always. "I hate that you're questioning yourself now." His lips sunk into yours.

As you two shared a steady kiss, you felt the world around you dissolve as always.

For a quick moment before it ended, your eyes flickered open at a view of the man before you. You pulled apart and locked your blurry eyes with his.

"I...love you, Namjoon."