HIGH ON LOVE// ASHTRAY x OC

all black attire

Some say when you get shot, it feels like nothing. Like when you think about it deeply, all you feel is whiteness and numbness. They say that the adrenaline rushes so fast, you barely even realize that you've been shot. I think they're fucking liars.

This hurt like a fucking bitch

The hotness from the gunshot stunned me. Nothing has ever hurt more in my entire life. Because of Fezco, the trajectory of the shot wasn't where skull guy had initially planned, the wound in my shoulder was proof of that.

"Fuck Mia," Ashtray yelled as he pulled me into his lap. Oh, there he was. "Why the fuck would you do that?!" Hot tears angrily escaped his eyes and ran down his face as he took off his shirt and wrapped it around my wound, trying to stop the bleeding.

I heard the sound of Lexi's platform docs running against the pavement accompanied by the jingle of car keys. I couldn't respond. I felt as if I were on fire and it was spreading everywhere onto my body. My eyes felt too fucking heavy to keep open.

"Nah, cmon Mia," Ashtray yells, slapping my cheek. "Don't do this shit to me bro, please!"

It's just in the shoulder Ash

I weakly thought as he roughly wiped his tears. My blood stained his hands and face now. I could only imagine what I looked like.

"Don't sleep Mia, please for god's sakes," He yelled. "Fuck Fez, help me get her in the goddamn car!"

I closed my eyes, trying to just feel a sense of calmness as I was placed in the backseat. Lexi drove, I knew this because she was always a good driver yelling about who knows what while Fez was running his hands up and down his face in stress.

"Mia please," Ashtray begs. "Stay strong, you can't leave me," I try to squeeze his hand that was wrapped tightly around my own but I couldn't. I tried speaking but couldn't find it in myself to do so. I was slipping in and out of consciousness and it felt as if I was in a losing battle.

~

I think about my future a lot. Before I got professional help, I thought I was defined by the numbers on a weight scale or how many ribs I could see through my top.

Now, I felt like that was completely different. I'm defined by the choices I make to better myself. My willingness to care for others, protect who I love and unapologetically be me makes me who I am. And it also changed my thoughts for my future.

If you had asked me at the beginning of summer, what I thought my future looked like. I would've told you that I didn't have one. That I'd be too skinny, too sick to do anything great for myself.

Now? Now, I want to grow. I want to make my dreams of traveling a reality and be able to live life loving who I am and what I stand for.

I think I was already on that pathway. Never in a million years did I think I would take a bullet for somebody and that somebody was Ash.

But I'd do it a million more times if it meant that he was okay and safe. He's been through way too much heart ache and sorrow, this was unnecessary baggage.

Besides, I don't know what I'd do if he died. Just the mere thought of seeing him dea- I can't even continue that. It may seem dramatic to most but I would do anything for Ash.