[A/N]: Please read the first book, "Girl In BIGBANG" and the second book, "The Next Chapter" before reading this book so you understand everything that will happen in this book, thank you.
⇢ Current Status: Incomplete
It's been over a month since J...
This was it. After 4 years, we were finally keeping our promise to VIPs and making a group comeback — however this one felt different both physically and emotionally.
I had to prepare myself coming to the studio, I could not explain my nervousness. I just felt nervous for some reason. Taking a deep breath, I enter the studio where GD was and greeted him, "Hey oppa. How are you?" I asked embracing him tightly.
"Alright. What about you dongsaeng?" he responds.
"I'm somewhat nervous and I don't know why?" I truthfully answer.
He hums, "Is it because this feels slightly weird? You know... being together after so long apart and with everything that has happened, it does feel unusual."
Chuckling, I place my stuff down and head into the recording booth equipped with the lyrics and my trusty mechanical pencil. I've used the same brand, same type of mechancial pencil for years — it's never let me down.
Performing vocal warm-ups and chugging some water, I'm ready to record my parts. I signal to GD I'm ready and completely zone out, focussing only on my singing.
[NOTE: this is how it looks (roughly) but at 0.31, it's GD then Hana]
‶ Four seasons with no reasons ″
‶ For life, do it away, away, away ″
‶ I keep remembering those glorious and loving days ″
‶ La la la la la la la la la la la La la la la la la la la la la la La la la la la la la la la la la La la la la la la la la la la la″
‶ At sunset next year, A blooming spring A midsummer night's dream″
It took a few takes but I did my best. "You're good Hana. You can leave now." GD announced and I breathed a sigh of relief, I got through it without getting emotional. I gather my belongings, bid everyone farewell and sped walk out as I was beginning to jinkx myself.
At home, I collapse on my sofa and relay today's events. GD was right... he always is. It felt different recording today, unusual. I guess I'm used to the lively atmosphere we once had when recording — you could describe it as a 'drinking party'. We were loud, obnoxious and disturb everyone in the building.
But now, it's quiet. There's no noisy chatter, loud laughter, constant bickering about useless topics or empty bottles of wine and takeout containers which littered GD's studio. It was solemn, it felt like an actual recording session with a producer.
I... don't know if I like it.
Everything has changed. We have matured, grown during the break and we are no longer the young people we once were — it's sad but it's reality. Nothing last forever, things change as time goes on and we can't do anything about it.
TOP has left YG Entertainment, he decided to not renew his contract.
My contract is coming to an end soon and I'm unsure whether to renew or not.
Daesung, GD and Taeyang's contracts are also ending soon and I'm unsure what they're going to do.
We have all changed and although it's sad, it's also heartwarming. We have discovered things we enjoyed and decided to pursue it but at the end of the day, we are members of BIGBANG. That one thing hasn't changed at all and hopefully never will.
Although I will miss our young days, I look forward to what's coming. It's a new chapter for everyone and although, new things can be daunting... they can also be some of the best times of your life. I can think back and smile at those times.
While lost in thought, I suddenly remember something and dash to my computer. I pull out my precious USB filled with unreleased songs and look for a specific file. I smile when I find it and click on it, the voice of Seungri fills my ears:
‶ With the morning dew, burying my anger in the past For Life ″
Before enlisting, he recorded a snipet of the song for me. It's a precious MP3 file to me because it's the last time we sang together. We were loud, obnoxious and definitely bickered about useless things. I hope one day, when the flowers bloom again and our paths align, we can sing together again.
But for now, I shall hold onto these precious memories I have of him and the other members inside GD's studio.
Having a sudden lightbulb, I speed to the YG building and dash to GD's studio. He's not there and I see he had finished editing the song and was about to send it. I make a hasty edit, overlapping Seungri's voice with TOP's voice before sending it for him.
A special present to the VIPs who'll wait for Seungri.
════ ⋆★⋆ ════
Filming the MV was unusual as well. It was the first MV where we didn't appear together — each member representing a different season but I appeared in each season. My role was someone attempting to understand that as time changes, people and things change. I went through each season and slowly grasped the concept of maturing.
Although we are no longer those young people we once were, we can look back fondly and smile as we reminisce. I liked the message shown in both the lyrics and MV. I hope VIPs and others can relate and understand that these times are different.
'Still Life' did incredibly well, better than anyone expected. It achieved acolades we didn't know possible but those didn't matter — all that matter is that VIP liked the song. It was a song for VIPs by BIGBANG conveying our feelings and thoughts.
I guess I'm becoming an adult Why am I so anxious?
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BIGBANG RELEASE POSTER ⠀ ▶️ 2022.04.05 0AM
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