A River Flows Through Us

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun...

         As I sat at the bar, of the male strip club, about 40 minutes away from my home. The only thing I could think about was how i'm the only person here with the group who has found anyone yet.

        This was exactly what I thought would happen. Knox would get to close and I would let him, and then i'd be left hurting. Lizzy was getting a lap dance by one of the strippers, while Malcolm, Kailey, and Morgan cheered her on.

      I wasn't to interested in this whole thing. I would have rather stayed home and watched a movie alone. But being that it's Lizzy last night as a single lady I was forced to come.

       I downed my third shot of tequila. I knew that wouldn't be my last. I feel like this whole thing is turning me into an alcoholic, not that was wasn't one before, but you know what I mean.

       "Stop mopping!" Kayden said sitting next to me. "Seriously it's making me sad."

          "My bad." I say.

         "Come have fun with the rest of us. Stop looking at your phone hoping he will call. He's not. and your single which means you can have more fun then the rest of us." Kayden said. I knew he was right. I gave him my phone, and he turned it off putting it in his pocket.

         I took the last shot downing it, in the hopes that I would start feeling better. We walked over to the group. Everyone seemed to be having a good time.

        I need a distraction. I look around the club. I knew there had to be a guy in here I could hangout with. And sure enough one of the strippers, looking at me. I knew. I went to high school with him. Not bad looking if you ask me. I wave at him and he walks over to me.

             I was sitting in one of the chairs at our table with everyone else, all going crazy. He sat next to me.

         "Grace right?" He said.

          "Yeah!" I say not remember his name.

          "I'm Paul, we went to high school together." He said.

          "Yeah I remember." I say.

          "So what bring you in tonight?" Paul said.

          "My best friend is being married tomorrow." I say pointing to Lizzy who was currently dancing with a brown haired man who was holding her hips.

      "Oh I see." Paul said. "You don't seem to be having fun."

       "Oh well maybe I just don't like being able to touch what I can't have." I say. Paul smiled and leaned in close to my ear.

        "You could always ask me." He said.

       "And where the fun in that?" I say back. Paul pulled my face to his, until our lips met. It definitely wasn't the best kiss i've ever had in my life, but for a moment I didn't have to think. I could hear Lizzy saying she was gonna send a video to the boys. I didn't pay attention I was to focused on Paul.

          "Get it Gracie!" Lizzy yelled.

          Time seemed to pass by really face, as it usually does in moments like this. The alcohol in my system was making everything fuzzy.

        "Oh no." Lizzy said, as her phone started ringing, as well as Kailey's and Morgan's. Thankfully I didn't have mine to I didn't care.

         Lizzy answered the phone. "Hel-" but was cut off by the person yelling at her on the phone. "We are just having fun. No one is doing anything they shouldn't.-" There was a pause and Lizzy said. "Well I don't give a rats ass, let his ass be jealous! He fucked it up. If Grace wants to have fun she can!" Lizzy hung up the phone.

         I realized what was going on in the moment. Lizzy sent a video of me kiss this guy, this guys i don't even like, and Knox saw it. I didn't want him to be jealous I just wanted to forget about him. And now i'm kiss this guy who is not him. I started to feel sick. I pulled away from Paul, and got up. I wanted to go home.

        "Grace! That was James he said-" Lizzy was trying to tell me, but I was already out the door of the club.

      I ran down the street. It was rain, hard. I didn't care. I kept running. I ran down the street of the east side, all the way until I saw the bright. Running over it until I was back on the west side of the river. I kept running until I saw the entrance to the river. I kept going until I was climbing the ladder. Sitting on the edge.

       I hadn't even realized I was crying yet again. Only this time, I was letting myself feel the weight of all of it. I let it all out, crying to my mom. Telling her How much I missed her.

         The rain just kept falling. I didn't care. It's not like it will ruin my shoes. I don't know how much time had passed, I just kept crying. I wanted to yell! I hated the universe. All it has ever done is bring heart break. I can't seem to get five minutes. Eventually the rain stopped and it was quiet.

       "Why?" I say. "Why did I have to lose everything?"

       "You didn't lose everything Grace, not even close." I turned to see my dad standing there. He moved to sit with me.

        "Why was I so stupid?" I say crying. "I mean I actually believed that if you did good things you got good things, but the truth is it doesn't matter we other your a sinner or a saint, nobody can win!"
 
         "It's like this wave that keep hitting me over and over, and I try to swim, but I don't know how much more I can take. I just keep losing." I said.

          "She would tell you the same thing she has always told you. Life is a mixed bag. We all get some good and we all get some bad. And I know that losing someone hurts, and the hole it leaves behind. But that doesn't mean that everything that follows is gonna break your heart. I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. The universe, or God isn't against anyone. All we can do is hope for the best and work with what we get, and sometimes we gotta stick around long enough for our luck to find us."

         "How did you know about?" I say.

         "This was were your mom brought me for our first date. We used to come here all the time, but then we got older, and had three amazing kids. So coming here didn't seem all that important to me. So she starting bring you." My dad said.

        "Come on, let me take you home." He said. "I know it doesn't feel like it right now. but you will be okay."

        I nodded, and we left.