A River Flows Through Us

Maybe Thinks arent so Bad..

          As my dad drove down the road, he turned like he was going to his house. I trusted my dad, but part of me thought back to that night with Derek.

       I must have looked panicked, because my dad then said "Don't worry I just need your help with something at my house." I nodded, trying to slow my breathing.

        We pulled into my dads driveway, and walked into the back door and into the house that made me feel the safest.

         "It's just in your old room." My dad said, opening the door for me to step in.

       I turned to see Knox sitting on Steve's bed that I used the last few years before college. I looked from Knox back to my dad.

         "What's happening?" I say.

        "Sorry." My dad said shutting the door.

        "What's this?" I said looking back to Knox who was sitting on bed.

        "Grace." He said softly.

       "You have some nerve, sitting there. With your sparkly bedroom eyes and your cute floppy hair." I said. Nice words, Grace. Your mad at him remember!

       "You have a problem with my eyes?" He says, smirking at me. Oh great now he's doing the look.

      "Yes! There distracting!" I yell. "This is stupid!" I turn to leave, scared that I was going to make a bad decision like last night. As I tried the door, it wouldn't open. I let out a breathe frustrations. Of course my dad did. "It's locked." I say.

      "Then can we talk?" Knox said. I rested my head on the door. I didn't want to hear how the one guy i've ever loved didn't love me back. I wanted to cry yet again. Momma If you can hear me, I really need you right now. Please give me the strength for whatever came next.

      I turn to look at him, nodding. Knox cleared his throat. "Grace, I should have told you the truth. I see that now." He stopped speaking. I started to feel claustrophobic standing there. I had to stop myself from pacing back and forth as he talked. 

     "We are locked in here." I say quietly. Still trying to process it, like repeating it would help. "And how you can just sit there all calm and cool like always is beyond me." I say throwing my hands up.

        "I'm not calm," Knox said making me look at him again. "Being without you is literally ripping me to shreds."

      "Oh." Was all I said. I didn't realize that. He always seemed so put together.

     "I wish you would just listen to me." He said. I didn't want to, but I figured might as well get all the breaking done at once. I nodded. "Grace it's not what you think. Okay. I guess that I thought if I told you you would think I was cheating on her with you, but that wasn't the case."

      "But she's your girl friend." I say quietly. Fighting back tears so I looked to the ground.

       "She's not." Knox said. "A few weeks ago the producers for the movie called me. They told me that it was part of the deal. I have to show the world we are together. But it's not real. It never was and never will be." He took a breath pushing his hair back.

        "You could have told me." I say, looking at him again.

        "I know." He said. "I know that now. I know how it looks, but Grace I do care about you."

        But he doesn't love you. He's not in love with you.

        "Knox real people are together because they want to be, not because they are told." I say.

       Tears had threatened to fall from his eyes. "Please forgive me. I need you." He said.

      "But I don't want you to need me. I want you to want me." I say.

      "I do want you." He said. "I want you more than all the fam, all the money, everything. I just want you."

       "I'm sorry this happened, I wish you would believe me." Knox said. I didn't look up. Knox got frustrated, standing up. "You know what no, actually i'm not sorry," I looked up. "I'm not sorry that I met you in the street that day. I'm not sorry that knowing you has made me question everything about my life. I'm not sorry that the last few days with you have been the best of my entire life." Knox stopped as a tear started to fall. I saw it. He cleared his throat. "And this will definitely change my life forever, But i'm not sorry that i'm in love with you. I knew it the first moment I saw you.... I love you Grace."

          I took a step towards him, and then another, until I was standing in front of him. I pulled him by his shirt, kissing him. He grabbed my face with both hands.

       Because he loves me.

       He pulled away looking at me. "I will always love you." he said softly again. Pulling my lips back to him.