Petals

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Onika Tanya Maraj

Perfect.

Was something Onika strived to be.

She's wanted to be perfect for awhile, ever since one day in kindergarten when she realized what the word meant.

She saw plenty of synonyms for it, flawless, faultless, ideal—but she settled for perfect.

On that fateful day she went home and brainstormed how to archive her goal.

She wanted to start..small. She knew she couldn't be seen as perfect to every single person even though she sure would try.

She settled on her parents to be the judges.

She did spelling bees, played a variety of instruments, painted, acted in plays, beauty pageants, studied hard each night so she wouldn't get anything less than a 1 following two 0s behind it on every test and assignment.

They were so proud of her, each time.

She loved the praise, not only from her parents but from the audience whenever she was infront of a crowd.

She lived for the praise, the validation at all cost.

She became, dependent on it. Without it she felt off. She didn't feel perfect without it. So she worked her hardest to please.

She remembers, her first Ballet recital. The night she knew she had to accomplish every goal her parents saw fit.

She was only 8.

That's when her obsession with perfection really started.

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Onika took deep-breathes as she look out onto the crowd, an applause was due—and it was delivered.

She felt petals slowly lowering down into her, she loved the feeling.

She bowed, lowering her head as the sound of the callas got louder and louder.

She didn't smile.

She raised her head to see the proud faces of her parents, their grins showing wide.

Their dimples mirroring her own.

She stepped off the stage and was embraced immediately by her mother.

"Oh sweetie you did so well I'm so proud of you!" She cooed kissing her face all over while Onika smiled and giggled. "Thank you Mama." Onika let out quietly.

She looked toward her father who kneeled down with a bouquet of flowers in his hand.

"You did as good as I expected." He stated with a straight face and Onika nodded, he handed her the flowers.

She waved and thanked everyone on her way out, shaking hands, talking to grown adults that could determine her future—she made sure to be polite to each one.

She walked through the lobby and found her mother again, who kneeled down and kissed Onikas temple.

"Oh Onika you're so perfect," Shw said holding her daughters face.