Petals

ꕥ

Onika Tanya Maraj

"I'll take you home."

The statement echoed in Onikas head, as she stared at Kehlani with teary eyes. In all honesty, Onika didn't want to be anywhere near Kehlani. Onika didn't want to be near anyone. Onika wanted to hide—she didn't know what was happening to her.

Her emotions were all over the place, her thoughts were scrambled and fragmented.

As she looked at Kehlani, her mind kept relaying all their moments together—watering everything down all the way down to the point where she had left Onika.

She quite frankly didn't want to be around Kehlani.

"Be-Bey can take me home." Onika stuttered, and Kehlani let out a low groan. "Is Beyoncé right here offering you a ride? No she's not. Get in the car Onika." Kehlani said, Onika gulped as she eyed Kehlani. She was slightly blurry with her tears.

"You're going to give yourself a panic attack Onika, Please just get in the car with me." Kehlani begged, Onika shut her eyes so tight the muscles in her face began to hurt. She wanted Kehlani to go away, she wanted everyone to just go away.

She found herself biting her tongue and subtly nodding. She followed Kehlani to her car, and she slid into the passenger seat. She tried to stay as far from Kehlani as she could as she hugged herself and laid her head against the window.  She felt a faint touch on her arm and she immediately shook it off.

"Don't touch me. Drive." She mumbled, she hugged herself as she stared down at her leggings. Kehlani sighed as she started the car, "You can't ignore me forever Onika, I mean I'm trying to apologize to you." She said and her words went in one ear and out the other, "I didn't mean to hurt you." Kehlani stated and Onika squeezed herself more.

She didn't want to hear Kehlani's apology.

"Accidental hurt is still hurt. Drive faster." Onika mumbled, she squeezed herself more. She cringed when Kehlani opened her mouth to once again—start talking. She wanted her to stop talking, she wanted the whole world to go silent.

"I know but—Onika you have got to understand that I was just a scared teenager. So I lied." Kehlani said simply and Onika hated it. She hated how she could state it so easily. When it was complete hell for Onika.

"It wasn't just your lie." Onka whispered, Kehlani glanced at her as they reached a red light. "What do you mean?" She asked, Onika gulped as she kept her head to the window.

"There were so many things wrong with whatever we had Kehlani. It was just—making out. As friends. You were too scared to claim me as your girlfriend so you just slept with me and called it friends with benefits! That hurt! Because I liked you!" Onika expressed, she finally looked at Kehlani and the lighter skinned girl bit her lip and glanced away. Onika knew she didn't have a good response, because what she had said was only the truth.

It hurt a bit more that it was indeed the truth, and that kehlani's quietness was confirming that for her.

Onika tried to stop her eyes from welling up again, but she couldn't. It stung to be reminded that what she felt was never fully returned.