Petals

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Onika Tanya Maraj

Onika has been scared before.

Fear to her feelings a bubbling feeling in her stomach, that creeps up slowly—and never quite goes away.

It's like a voice that constantly tells her that she isn't good enough. That she'll fail—that she can't disappoint her father or anyone. Perfection had to be archived and every single step matters.

After the concert—Beyoncé dropped Onika off and they said their good nights. Onika had a fun time—she couldn't lie. And she let herself be vulnerable—and it was scary for her. But Beyoncé didn't bat an eye.

But now—Onika was looking at herself in the mirror while several of her dresses surrounded her.

"What the fuck do I wear?" She groaned outloud while pacing in her bra and underwear.

Onika had a good nights sleep after the concert—she slept easier—a little bit more peaceful. Just to be wake up to hell.

Because she had to have brunch with no one other than Kehlani.

She didn't know what to wear—she was nervous for several other reasons though. Her mother still thinks they're friends—Onika doesn't have the heart to tell her what happened. She stepped over her clothes as she paced—she didn't want to have brunch with her. She didn't want to see her again.

Kehlani used to be so prevalent in her life—if they were still friends she'd be here with her—telling her not to stress about what to wear. Even though she's the real reason Onikas stressing.

She tried on another dress and groaned. "Why the hell do I suddenly look bad in everything?" She asked herself as she sat on one of the chairs in her closet. She threw her head back in her exhaustion, Beyoncé had her up till atleast 1am.

She suddenly looked over to her vibrating phone that was underneath all the clothes she had tried on. She reached for it, throwing one of her dresses out of the way and answering.

"Hello?" She hesitantly said, cursing herself for not checking who it was first.

"Onika!" The voice exclaimed—and Onika immediately cut them off in a heartbeat.

Beyonce what do you want?" Onika asked with suspicion. She didn't believe Beyoncé could wake up this early on a weekend seeing as she was always half asleep in their classes.

"Do I have to want something to talk to you?"

That threw Onika off a bit, she leaned back in her chair looking down at her bare thighs. "I mean—no? But, usually people do." Onika said and Beyoncé frowned as she rolled in her own bed.

"I honestly just wanted to see how you slept—you seemed a little..."

Vulnerable?

Scared?

Weak?

Those were all the words Onika thought Beyoncé was going to utter out of her mouth, with her southern accent trailing behind.

"Fragile. You seemed fragile after I dropped you off, and after our conversation." Beyoncé said and Onika let out a breath she didn't even know she was holding. "I'm fine." She said immediately—Beyoncé wasn't sure about that but she let it go. The blonde began to speak again.

"Well, I don't exactly want anything from you but —I wanted to see if you wanted to hang out today." Beyoncé said and Onika was taken back again, "You willingly want to hang out with me? No I'm sorry— This isn't an ambush?"