Twoset Violin oneshots or possibly more

The Past is Hard to Accept ( it makes you bleed) 2/2

Part  2/2

Authors note: Thank you for waiting for the second half! I hope you enjoy it!

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Sounds of tapping filled the car, Brett drummed his fingers against the steering wheel deep in thought. The session made him feel as his chest cavity had been torn open, leaving him bleeding with no one to help him stitch it back up.

Eddy seemed to notice something was wrong though, it was probably because he kept his eyes on the road instead of saying anything. The silence was suffocating but Brett couldn't bring himself to say anything. How could he? There was so much on his mind. It all weighed so heavily on him.

"Bretty, is everything okay? You seem tense," Finally, Eddy interrupted the silence, not being able to bear it any longer. Maybe therapy had brought up bad memories of being in the mental hospital? Eddy thought it could be a possibility, although he wasn't completely sure.

"I'm fine," Brett's lips pressed into a straight line, the nervous itch he always had spread through his arms. Begging him to move his hands from the wheel to mess with his sleeves or scratch his arms. He couldn't though, otherwise they may crash. Instead, he squeezed the wheel between his hands until they became white-knuckled. It was clear that Eddy didn't buy it, didn't believe what he was saying. He bit into the soft flesh of his bottom lip.

Eddy didn't push though, oh sweet Eddy, he never pushed into his space. Or into his mind, never forced anything out of him because of a thought of entitlement. Eddy knew he wasn't entitled to Brett's thoughts or even his feelings.
"Okay, Brett. If something turns out not to be wrong, you can always tell me. If you don't want to that's okay too."
There was always an option and it was always Brett's choice. No one would ever make that choice for him again, he could have control over his own being, "I know, Eddy."

He knew it more than anyone, he knew that Eddy wouldn't pull or push any longer. Simply he would exist with Brett and love him. No matter what that looked like, even if they had their rough patches.

"I love you," Eddy purred softly. Brett listened to his tone and knew it to be true.

Some of the tensions drained his body. With those simple words, it felt as if he could breathe again, "I love you too, Eddy."

A small smile spread across his lips, "It makes me happy to know that you love me."

"I'm glad I can at least make you happy...," Brett trailed off, his voice becoming quieter than a whisper. At least he was good at one thing: Making Eddy happy, even if he didn't always succeed at it. Sometimes it felt that he couldn't do anything right when it came to Eddy. If he really looked at everything, he was the reason Eddy's life became so fucked. It rested on his shoulders, even if they were Eddy's choices, Brett had influenced them. The sexual relations, the older boyfriend, the self-harm, he had normalized that in Eddy's life. By simply existing he had inadvertently taught Eddy all those things were okay behavior.

"You do, babe. So happy," Brett's bitter thoughts were thick, Eddy could feel them radiating off of him. Without hesitation, Eddy brought his hand to Brett's thigh. He gave a gentle squeeze, "You never have to doubt that, even if we go through things. I am always content with being with you."

Even if Eddy wasn't always blissfully happy, he was content with being with Brett. Brett was who he wanted to be with.

Brett took a deep breath, it was getting harder and harder not to spill his feelings at his lover's feet. He refrained, they were almost home and he was meant to leave his issues in therapy, not to put the burden on Eddy's already burdened shoulders. His problems had always been his own, they always had been and always would be. As the oldest son, it was his duty to shoulder everything for the younger ones. To protect them, to teach them, and so on. Never as a child himself, but a born babysitter. It was his job as the oldest, to show them the way. Clearly, he had shown Eddy the wrong way even if he wasn't one of his brothers. At that time Eddy had practically been like one! Even if his thoughts were never really appropriate about his friend. Not that it was on purpose, those thoughts were implanted there by his boyfriend and the exposure he had faced to those sorts of things.