Twoset Violin oneshots or possibly more

High all the Time

Author's note: I haven't posted anything here in awhile so here is a new chapter! I am working on some longer oneshots to put here. So here's a short sad one!

Trigger warning:  Suicide, major character death and drug use.

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 Warmth filled his lungs, it was as if he was drowning in the smoke yet he was all too calm with it. His muscles and mind relaxing. Lazily he dropped his head back, letting it thud against the bricks. A joint sat between his pretty red lips, resting there as his almond eyes stared up at the starry sky. It made his muddled brain think about the good old days, stargazing with the one he had loved and pointing out the constellations that they knew, "Fuck you, Brett!"

He shouted at the sky before bursting into a cackle, the joint falling from his lips and found its final resting place on the pavement. He simply laughed like a mad man, "Fuck you for leaving me!"
He pushed off the wall, a smile toying on his lips, if only he could forget all the good times. If only he could forget all the love he had once harbored for a man. A man who left him behind to live in a world that didn't care for him. Fuck, he didn't even care for himself. With staggered steps he walked back into the club. The music was air bleedingly loud, yet his body swayed to it, numbing his senses. Numbing his pain, numbing his heart from feeling. His eyes fluttered closed, lips slightly parted as if still waiting for him to bring the joint back.

He was often told not to mix drugs with alcohol especially when it came to weed. It was known to relax people, so if he threw up in his sleep the chances were that he'd be so relaxed that he would die. Maybe that was what he wanted. To wind up dead for someone to find him. Like how he had to find....The thought broke when he felt someone press against his back, hands lightly grazing his hips. That was why he was here, to have people fill his empty home and fill his empty heart.

"You're back tonight, Eddy?" The voice sounded more concerned then of one who wanted to take advantage of him. He didn't need care, he needed pain to counteract the hurt he already had.

Eddy's eyes fluttered open, eyes almost lagging as he glanced behind himself. He saw a familiar face, "Oh heeeey."
He drew the words out with a slur, a smile spreading across his face. All of his friends had been worried about him. If he were his friend he would worry too, but he needed this! Actually he didn't recognize this man. Were they friends?

"Why are you here?" Eddy giggled softly, he was at the peak of his drunken haze and high. The peak was always the best! The let down and hangovers were never great but he could always just get high again to peak.

"I work here.I know it's been hard after- " The slightly taller man was cut off by Eddy's finger pressing against his lips.

"Shhhhhhh," Eddy felt something that felt sucky, he didn't want to feel sucky right now. So that name or incident wouldn't be mentioned. He didn't want those words to break him, to shatter him until nothing was left but dust, "I'm having a good time, so unless you want to take me home for a wild night then I am not interested in this convo."
He turned in the man's arms to see the face of his worried face, so it was an employee. He had frequented the place so often that even the employees recognized him. Not too mention they knew about Brett, not just because of Eddy's drunk blabbering but because of the amount of news coverage it got. No matter where he went, he couldn't escape it! This was the only way he could, tempting fate to take him too.

"Okay, Eddy. I'll take you to your home," Maybe if he could just get the man out of there and in bed it would be fine. He was off shift and he actually had no intention of taking advantage of the man who was in dire need of therapy or rehab.

Eddy leaned back with a loud happy giggle, taking this as a sexual agreement, "Let's go then."
He had a huge grin on his face but his eyes were as dead as Brett's were when the younger met his lover's lifeless gaze on the bathroom floor. He had been too late. That didn't matter though, one of the handsome bartenders - at least he assumed - was coming home with him. He wasn't going home alone, which meant he could live in a bliss that said his love was still by his side. He could wake up to the sunlight peeking in through the windows and shining on Brett's porcelain skin. He could lazily trace his features and admire his beauty. Even as they walked out of the club and Eddy stayed in his fantasy, deep down he knew he would never enjoy those things again.

_______

"Brett! Brett!" Eddy pounded on the locked bathroom door desperately before using his shoulder to ram against it, causing the door to cave on itself and open! The sight he saw was not one he expected to see, his boyfriend lying on the tiles with blood trickling from his wrists. Lifeless eyes staring at the one he had loved.

"No Brett! Don't leave me, please don't leave me behind! Love, please," The noises coming from him were hysterical and animalistic, trying to beg death to let go of its claim on his boyfriend. It was of no use. There was nothing that the hospital could do either. Like dust in the wind Brett was just gone.

_____

No matter how hard Eddy tried to forget, he still remembered lying his head on the casket weeping. He remembered the slits on Brett's pale, pretty wrists. He remembered Brett's smiles and his laughs when it came to the stupid jokes Eddy told. He remembered the intimacy they shared between the sheets. Their fears, their worries, their therapy sessions. He remembered it all. Mostly though he remembered how none of it was good enough... how he wasn't good enough.

Eddy understood why Brett had to go, and he didn't blame him for leaving. Yet he couldn't help but feel angry, angry at the man who tore him apart for a chance to go to a better place.

It wasn't just Brett buried in the ground that day but Eddy's heart, everything he was, died with Brett. All that was left was his reckless behavior not just because he wanted to forget but because he was too much of a coward to join his love in a better life. Perhaps the substances would do it for him.