Daire and Aspen

Chapter 7: Aspen

"You OK?"

I've been silent the entire 15 minutes we've been in the car on the way to the clubhouse, and there's so much hostility coming from me I'm surprised he's not choking on it.

"Does it matter?"

"Well, yeah," he says.

"I just wondered if you had another command. You know, to go along with the you need to make this work and you need to move on from the past commands you've already handed down to me."

"I expect you to be respectful."

"Yes, master," I hiss. "But I have a command of my own: nobody, and I mean nobody, holds her but me. And you, I guess. She does not get passed around to these people and we are out of there if anyone smokes."

"They won't, Aspen."

"It's bad enough they get near her smelling like smoke and whatever else they've been doing."

"For fuck's sake – this is just a way for my brothers to meet her and to welcome you back."

"Oh please! They aren't any happier to see me than I am to see them. These are the same people who completely turned their backs on me on your say so because I had committed the horrible crime of carrying your child. Not one of them reached out to me. Instead they humiliated me and pretended I didn't exist right to my face. So excuse me for not wanting to just run into their two-faced arms and pretend what they did to me is OK. It isn't. What they did to me was almost as horrible as what you did. I hate you for making me come to this."

"Aspen –" his voice is low, warning me.

"You have your entire brotherhood as your family. I have no one but Elly, so you will respect my wishes for keeping her safe. I know what goes on in the club and God only knows where their disgusting hands have been. I don't want them touching her."

"My brothers aren't fucking animals! You make it sound like we're going to be walking in on an orgy. I can guarantee we're not. And you aren't alone, Aspen. You have me. You have all my brothers and their old ladies as your family."

"You're so full of...it," I snapped at him. "I'm nothing to you and your club and you all proved that when you froze me out. They followed your lead before and they would do it again in a heartbeat if you gave the signal. So let's not pretend that I'm anything to anyone, here."

Daire sighed heavily. "Just be respectful. And yes, that is a command." Again, I noticed he didn't correct me that I meant anything to anyone, that I had no one but Elly. That just proved to me that I was correct in my assumption.

"And let me guess, they can treat me as shitty as they want? Perfect. I won't say a word, just continue to accept the lack of respect they shovel at me, how's that? I just love being a part of your family."

Daire looked like he wanted to kill me. I was hoping instead of taking it to that extreme, he'd merely let me go live away from him.

"We all made mistakes. We're sorry. You need to get over it."

For some reason, that made my eyes fill with tears. That seemed to be a refrain I'd heard all my life.

Your family is gone, Aspen; and I'm sorry, but you need to get over it and accept it.

The families want a baby, Aspen, so at your age you're not adoptable. You have to accept that.

The group home is the best place for you, Aspen. You have to come to terms with that.

Girls are going to make fun of you as a foster kid with second-hand clothes. Just ignore it. You'll get over it.

I was tired of accepting all of the shit that had been thrown at me all my life. I was tired of being dutiful, obedient little Aspen. I was done. For the seven months that Daire and I had been...doing whatever the hell it was we'd been doing, I had bent over backwards to make friends with the club members and their women. I'd baked for them, cooked for them, talked and laughed with them, thinking I was making real friends. And in a heartbeat, they'd turned on me. Nothing had been real on their part. They accepted me only because I was Daire's. Beyond that, I was nothing.