And Then You

18 / maureen

PAGBALIK sa school nang January, the flashlights are still there sa SOM Forest. 'Di siya sure kung bakit 'di nauubos ng mga batteries ang mga 'yon.

Maureen throws herself into her acads, orgs, and friends.

Minsan, makikita niya si Kuya Inggo smoking under the footbridge. He'll freeze up when he sees her, stick between his teeth, then offer a hesitant smile, like he's afraid she won't smile back.

Maureen does, though. Every time. And then she leaves without a second glance, clutching her chest and pounding on her racing heart with her fist.

Minsan, makikita niya si Kuya Inggo with her kuya and their friends sa JSEC, o sa Tetsuo, o sa Starbs, and he'll burn the side of her face with his gaze and Maureen has to laugh it off when her friends elbow her with wide eyes, whispering, "Bakit kanina pa nakatingin si Inggo de Paz sa 'yo?"

And she has to say, "Kasi binabantayan niya ako parang si Kuya. 'Yon lang. Anyway, let's continue..."

And then there will be a slice of cheesecake waiting outside her door after a rough day, or an umbrella magically appearing in her bag after niyang magpa-print sa bookstore at biglang bumuhos sa labas. She was about to call one of her friends to pick her up para makalakad siya to CTC, kasi tanga siya at nakalimutan niyang magdala ng payong, when Kuya Inggo passes with a wave, a small smile, and a quiet, "Hi, Rinn."

Then he runs into the rain, only his hand above his head.

And then there will be a Grab driver waiting outside MVP 'pag tuloy-tuloy classes at meetings niya at wala siyang time mag-lunch, tapos sabi ni Maureen, "Kuya, wala akong in-order."

At sabi ng driver, "'Di po ba kayo si Maureen Salas? Para sa inyo raw po, binayaran na po ni sender."

Loyal si Kuya Grab at ayaw niya sabihin kung kanino galing, pero nag-thank you si Maureen kay Kuya Migo.

Ito reply niya:

Kuya Migo: pinagsasabi mo?

Maureen sighs. She texts Kuya Inggo.

thank you, but if you're doing this because you feel bad, please stop.

'Di man umabot ng twenty seconds bago niya na-receive reply niya.

Kuya Inggo: stop what?

Mababaliw si Maureen sa isang 'to, tangina.

Kuya Inggo: dadaan ako for my umbrella

Wala nang tanong-tanong, 'no.

huh? tomorrow na lang sa school, what time ka free?

Kuya Inggo: no shh kailangan ko now.

Shh?

Did he just shh her in text?!

Sabihin mo sa lady parts natin hindi 'yon attractive! sigaw ng anghel niya.

Frustrated, Maureen types her reply.

me na lang, ill go to wherever you are.

Kuya Inggo: no im near blue na. stay there.

The fuck. O, e, ano magagawa ni Maureen?

It's been almost two months since he was here. Since she kicked him out. Two months of him silently taking care of her kahit hindi naman kailangan, two months of these confusing gestures na hindi alam ni Maureen kung bored lang ba siya or what.

Two months din of not seeing him with a girl—with anyone other than his friends. No, more than that excluding herself—since start pa ng first semester. Sabi niya naging celibate siya for seven or eight months that night he...that night.