Aquagirl (Fem. Percy x YJ)

90

Kaldur's face pressed against my stomach, fingers entangled in my shirt. Soft, steady breaths fell from his lips. They didn't falter when I tugged a thin blanket over him. He didn't stir. I carded my fingers through his soft hair, gently working apart knots. Cooing and whispering to him, it would have to be enough. It had to be enough. Any time I tried when he was awake, it led to his eyes going hollow and him nodding along.

His spine pressed into my hand, each vertebrae a separate imprint. Part of me wanted to push his knees down, away from his chest, and out of the side of my thigh. It would be easy. Kaldur rarely reacted to me. I could move him, and even if he woke up soft words would be enough to soothe him.

"How is he?" asked Ollie as he walked into the room.

"Dick called me earlier. He snuck into the Cave."

"If Dick's risking pissing off Bruce—remember the last time he got grounded? —then maybe we should be letting the kids visit him. I know you're worried about how it'll affect him," he pinched the bridge of his nose. "But he's attached to them too. I don't think it's good to–"

"Kaldur told him that he'd kill himself by the end of the month."

Oliver sucked in a breath. We sat in silence, with only Kaldur's breathing and the sounds of Roy doing the dishes between us. The words were even worse now that I was the one saying them. Coming from Dick, even if I knew he'd never lie about something like this, it was easier to dismiss.

Easier to convince myself that Kaldur wasn't trying to fool us.

Ollie sighed. He clasped his hands. "The kid's been through so much. And I know where he's coming from with this. You do too." His eyes slid to me. "They were trying to break him, and he's a fucking child. What other option does he see for himself? I mean, thinking about having to hurt you or Roy like that makes me sick. And if I had to do that for three months?"

"Oliver."

"I'm just saying— I can see why he wants to."

I tipped my head back and stared at the chandelier. "We're going to have to put him back on suicide watch, and he's going to hate that."

"You had a similar reaction."

Scowling, I elbowed him. Now wasn't the time, no matter how much of a point he had. (I didn't want Kaldur to do the same things.) "I didn't have a monitoring bracelet on me."

"You can't tell me you're upset about that."

"I am when its making him worse," I said. "Have you looked at his wrist?" I tugged at his sleeve, revealing the bandage looped under the metal band. "He kept tearing at his skin trying to get it off. There- There are better ways to keep him safe, and they don't sit on injuries. God, did she even think before putting something that tight on someone kept in chains?" Colors danced on the back of my eyelids. Ollie pulled my hands away.

"She probably didn't. I didn't think when I found out Roy—" He cut off and glanced towards the kitchen. "You know. And he hadn't tried to kill himself. I- I can't imagine that. And if I stopped him, and then he tried again right in front of me? Would you be able to stop yourself from doing the same thing in her shoes? All of the options are shit, she's just trying to pick the smallest heap."

I carded my fingers through Kaldur's hair again. No words came between me and Ollie. Tonight, there would be confrontations and arguments over why I didn't tell him this was what had me upset. But here—in the living room, with Kaldur sleeping, and Roy close by— he wrapped his arm over my shoulders. Fingers rubbed into my shoulder.

"Roy's getting a brother, isn't he?" I asked, mainly to myself.

"I'm already drafting up adoption papers."

A crash, then cursing from the kitchen. I tilted my head towards the door. "Go help him."

"Yes, dear." He rolled his eyes and kissed my cheek.

It took fifteen minutes for them to drop a set of pans.

Kaldur shot up, eyes wide. Quick breaths. Shaking hands. His gaze darted around the room. He tensed as I rested my hand on his arm.

"Little bird," I mumbled. Tension melted from him. "You're okay." After a minute, and some coaxing, Kaldur leaned into my body, head on my shoulder and arms looped loose around me. "I need to ask you something."

"If it is about–"

"Not that. Not right now, anyway, you're resting. Oliver didn't bring you here so I could terrorize you. Although that would be a good way to force the others to actually sit through a full therapy session." I laughed, then sighed and brushed my thumb over his cheek. "When you pulled my hands up to your gills, were you trying to get me to hurt you?"

He pulled away. Wide eyes stared at me. "That- That is why you pulled away?"

"I'm not Atlantean, Kaldur."---He winced and looked away— "I thought...Your gills are already in bad shape, and I thought you were trying to get me to hurt you. Trying to make me see that it was fine if I hurt you."

Kaldur laced his fingers and hunched over. Sun from the windows spilled over his face. "I would not do that to you." He sighed. "What I want, it is selfish and I am aware of that. And I know it would hurt everyone, but at a certain point, is it not merciful to allow me to end my own suffering?"

"You can't get better if you refuse to give yourself the chance to, Kaldur. I– A few years back, I was tortured, and Oliver killed the people who did it. He took away my chance for revenge, for closure, and that broke me. But I'm still here. And we want you to still be here too."

The couch creaked when Kaldur leaned back. He tangled his hands in the blanket, wrapping it around and around until it was a bundle around his arms. "Percy does not."

"And she might never change her mind, but what happens if, in time, she decides she wants to be around you again?"

"Any time I look at her, I remember what I had to do. The first week of being captured— I tried. I tried so hard to find a way for us to get out. I tried to make sure her injuries weren't too bad, that she knew—that she knew I did not want to hurt her. And then they took a knife to my gills, and it hurt." He hiccuped. "I was choking on my own blood while still being able to breathe. And anytime I didn't do what they wanted, they'd do it again and again and again." English turned to Atlantean, ramblings turned to sobs. His fingers were probably digging into his arms within the blankets.

I tucked him into my side, ran my fingers through his hair. He drifted off again, panic draining him of energy.

"Roy," I called softly. He poked his head in, hair still uncombed. "Once he wakes up, I want you to take him up to your room."

With any luck, this may end in another 10 chapters

(Can I control myself long enough for that to happen, I have no idea)

But anyway, since no one replied to the last question and it mightve been too vague

Would you rather have

Kaldur lives

Kaldur dies

See yah