Where Two Sides Meet

My Journal

Dear Journal,

Hey, my name is Rowan and I live here in the most unnoticeable place in Arizona...Wellers Town. I live in a sketchy apartment behind the gas station, I mean yeah, I live alone, but it's not like it was my choice.

My dad left when I was seven. I don't know where he is or why he left.

You're probably thinking, "What happened to your mom?" Well my mom died three years ago, I was only thirteen back then, but I managed to get a job at the local ice cream shop, pay rent, and still go to school.

Speaking of my job, I was just sitting on the stool at the front counter waiting for a customer to come in when a boy walked straight into the door!

Being the charming person I am, I rushed outside to help him. I cracked a joke, he smiled but didn't laugh, it almost looked as if he was studying me.

He was light as a feather, after I got him back on his feet I realized the way his hair fell perfectly around his light blue eyes; they sparkled in the afternoon light.

He was wearing a black hoodie with some random word written across his chest and he had earbuds hanging from his pocket. I didn't know why but I was intrigued by the boy.

I introduced myself to him, then I asked him to hang out. I probably sounded like a fool, but to my surprise, he said yes. I couldn't wait to learn more about this mysterious boy.

My torso felt weird like there was a tornado of butterflies trying to fly straight from my chest. My hands were soaking with sweat. "So meet me behind the shop in an hour?" Damn it! I sounded so dumb, he probably won't even show.

Why did this boy have me feeling all, you know, weird? I couldn't stop thinking about his smile, it was so, so gentle. "Jesus! I can't think straight!" I yelled. Thank god nobody was around.

If my mom was still here she probably would have yelled at me or something about using the lord's name in vain.

To be honest the one good thing about living alone is not having to be religious, bye, bye bible school.

Grandfather would always ask me if I got a girlfriend. His last words were, "Find yourself a nice, young lady to cook for you."

Now I am not even sure if I want a girlfriend, of course, I want to get married, just not to a girl. It felt weird to say, I mean how can you be straight but not like girls? It wouldn't matter anyway, the only thing that should be on my mind is school.

How am I supposed to keep my grades up, I barely passed last year!