Where Two Sides Meet

The Rooftop

Dear Diary,

The bell had rung; the first day of school had finally ended.

As fast as possible, I packed my things and quickly walked out the door, keeping my head down.

I never really knew that high school was so...mean. It brought back middle school memories from when everyone was going through drama.

I plugged myself into my earbuds and didn't bother to wait for Rowan.

From the outside, it may look like I hate him, but deep down, I knew it wasn't his fault. I felt bad for him. But the question on my mind was, does he actually like me?

The way he looks into my eyes...is it true?

The REAL question is, do I like HIM?! Every day, night, afternoon, I was thinking of him. But my brain was telling me that I was not gay. I just haven't found the right girl for me yet. I don't like boys. I can't, It's just a ridiculous thought that was put into my mind.

Rowan's voice brought me back to reality. He yelled my name and I stopped and turned around to see him catching his breath. "I'm sorry, Felix, that blonde girl can't help but spread lies about you and me."

Wait...lies? Maybe he doesn't like me, I was wrong, he's not gay and I am not either.

"Free ice cream?" He asked, but hesitantly.

I tried not to smile at the offer but I just couldn't help it. The way he was waiting for my answer, his eyes... were so hopeful.

Something about the way he looked at me made me feel bubbly.

His brown eyes and copper hair were just so perfect. Everything about him was perfect, perfect. His stride, his face, even the way he would glance at me out of the corner of his eye.

I wanted to say something, anything but I just smiled and nodded.

We were sitting on the rooftop ledge of the ice cream shop. It was a beautiful view, overlooking Weller's town.

The horizon was a mix of warm colors like, red, orange, and yellow. The colors reflected Rowan's eyes and his hair looked redder than copper brown.

We sat in silence as we ate our ice cream; mint chocolate chip for me and cookie dough for Rowan.

It was peaceful, but there was still a little tension between us. The breeze blew my hood off, revealing my black hair.

Rowan looked at me and smiled, "Your hair looks..red..ish or something."

I blushed, except I wasn't surprised. Maybe I did like him? I knew I couldn't ignore this feeling when I looked into his eyes or when he smiled at me. "Oh...yeah." I stuttered and looked at Rowan.

He was nervously smiling at me and it looked like he was trying to figure out what to say. "I-I know I said this before, but I'm sorry for the first day of school." He took a bite out of his ice cream.

I sighed, "I know." I turned to stare at the horizon. "So who was that girl anyway?"

He told me about the blonde girl. She had asked him on a date and caught him looking at me when my stuff fell.
I laughed at the thought of how ridiculous the thought of it all was. But then my face got serious again when he got to the part where the girl started shouting lies.
"Lies?" I asked, hesitantly. I didn't want him to feel uncomfortable right after we started to talk again.

I could tell he was going to say "yeah" but stopped himself. "I don't really know anymore." He looked at me.

I bumped my feet together and put my hands under my thighs. "Yeah, me too, actually." I hope I didn't regret saying that but I had to be honest, am I gay?

He slowly smiled at me and chuckled, but he got serious again when he looked over at me. He put down the empty ice cream cup next to him and scooched closer to me. His arm brushed past mine as he lifted it to itch his nose.

My shoulders relaxed and I rested my hands next to him. We sat there, looking into the sky as the sun went down. As the breeze flew by, I could smell the shampoo from Rowan's hair under the white baseball cap he was wearing.

I saw him look over at me from the corner of my eye. Even though I still had my eyes fixed on the sunset, I saw him put his hand on top of mine. I felt a shudder of excitement when his skin touched me. His fingers were soft, warm, and had a kind touch to them.

I turned toward Rowan, I could feel myself blushing like a tomato but the colors of the sky hid it. He kept his hand on top of mine and smiled, warmly toward me.

Rowan hesitantly moved closer to me, his head was coming closer, closer. Wait...what? Was he going to kiss me? I didn't know what to do but I sat there, frozen as Rowan slowly leaned in and kissed me. His lips were soft and I could tell he was grinning from underneath. But for a second, only a second, I felt happy and relaxed. But the question still remains...am I gay?