If I Try (Lesbian Story)

What Hurts The Most

"One day I'll get over you, my tears will stop falling, putting on a smile will be easier and more real. I'll stop doubting myself and I'll stop trying to make up excuses for me and your mistakes. I'll be able to laugh again. I'll be able to walk by you with my head held high with no shame. I won't have to avoid seeing you or hate the person you are currently with. I'll be able to feel beautiful again and I won't hate you anymore. I won't hate myself anymore and I won't regret being with you, because being with you taught me things that I never would have learned without you. I will realize how strong I am and I will move on. You won't be forgotten because apparently you were my first love, but I won't want you anymore and your name will be easier to say. One day I will let you go and I'll move on." -Unknown

Lisa's POV
We have been together for over two years now. I honestly couldn't be more in love. I remember the first time we told each other "I Love You." She planned this weekend getaway in Key West six months after we started dating. We drove there and she rented this house that was right on the beach. We were walking in Mallory Square watching street performers and I noticed she wasn't even watching their performance. She was just looking at me with this goofy grin. I said "What's wrong? Do I have something in my teeth?" She laughed at me and replied "No. You're perfect." We walked along the boardwalk holding hands. We stopped to watch the sunset over the ocean, it was surreal.

She had been unusually quiet. I made her turn to me and I had both hands on her face. She looked at me with so much emotion in her eyes. "Lisa I've never been this happy. You make me feel like I'm invincible. Like I can conquer the world as long as you're by my side." She wrapped her arms around me and pulled me close into her.

Instinctively I wrapped my arms around her neck. She bit her lip and I noticed a stray tear escaped her eye. "I Love You Lisa Anderson. I Love You with all of my heart, my soul, mind, and body. I'm completely awestruck by your beauty. I lose myself in your eyes and your smile lights my heart on fire. I'm in so deep I can't think straight. I can't function without you. I'm so in love with you." She then kissed me so softly like if she did it too hard I would disappear. I grabbed her head and pulled her into me and deepened the kiss. I held her as if my life depended on it. When we finally pulled away I smiled at her and said "I Love You too."

That was over a year and a half ago. I can't believe in only eighteen months I could ruin the most precious thing I had in my life. Actually, it only took one night to ruin it. One night, a lot of beer, and one horrible decision that totally wrecked my future. One moment of weakness. I remember and I wish I didn't.

Ally had to leave on a business trip and I was being a little whiney bitch about it. I couldn't go because I promised my uncle that I would be there for my cousins birthday. He was turning twenty five and he had also just got an awesome promotion. Johnny, my cousin, just so happened to be best friends with my ex boyfriend, Chris. Needless to say when I walked into the house that night I wasn't expecting to see Chris, but there he was looking as fine as ever.

I had way to much to drink. I was really missing Ally. So, when he came and wrapped his arms around my waist and started kissing my neck I kinda lost it. The next morning I woke up completely naked next to a completely naked man. I wish I could say I didn't remember it. I wish I could say that I didn't enjoy it. I wish I could say that I cut off ties after that night. But I did and I can't.

When I woke up the next morning I was like oh shit what have I done. I started freaking out like legitimately screaming and panicking. He took me out for coffee and convinced me that my current relationship was just a phase. He knew me better than anyone and he knew that I needed him back in my life. He also told me that he was transferred back here and we could finally start our life together.
Of course I told him "My relationship isn't a phase I am in love."
He cut me off saying "Well maybe you were in love but you love me more. You always have and you always will. Stop lying to yourself and to everyone around you and face the facts. You cheated on her and when she finds out she won't even want you anymore. Why was it so easy to get you back into MY bed?"
"It was a mistake" I said in a small voice.
"It's not a mistake when I can simply touch you and see the way your body responds to me. I can look at you and see that you clearly want me too. You still love me just admit it." He crooned.
"I can't ruin the best thing I have in my life."
"You just did babe." He dropped me off at my house and all I could do was cry as the realization of what I did sunk in.