If I Try (Lesbian Story)

Im Only One Call Away

"We cross our bridges when we come to them and burn them behind us, with nothing to show for our progress except a memory of the smell of smoke, and a presumption that our eyes once watered." - Tom Stoppard

August

It's been Three months since I've been home and I think it's just dawning on me that this is my life.  This is how things are going to go day to day.  I started working again.  Sage said that it would be good for me to have some kind of "healthy" routine.  So, ergo, I got me a "healthy" routine.  I usually am woken up by a bouncing Nic who is inhumanly bubbly for it being so god awfully early.  We proceed to take a morning run.  Sometimes Peyton joins us.  Speaking of Peyton.  I maybe not so smoothly introduced her to Aaron.  They immediately hit it off.  I knew they would be absolutely perfect for each other.  They aren't "dating" yet but they are surely "hanging out" a lot.  Kids these days and all their lingo, I can't keep up.  I don't know if it means they are knocking each other's goodies against each other but I'm about ninety-nine percent sure that they are.

Oh, speaking of that, I only have nine months left!  Sorry, that is like a permanent count down clock that Nic and I have going.  We both even have those timer things on our phone.  It's labeled "O Time" I bet you can guess what that "O" stands for. 

Anyway, oh yea after the run we go back to the house and get showers.  She usually goes outside and writes in the hammock or shuts herself in her room and writes beautiful award winning music.  I go to the living room and spread all my papers everywhere and proceed to do my work.  I can't travel until my year is up.  I think of it as house arrest, but I can still go out of the house without setting off too many alarms.  Usually I work for a good while.  Sometimes stopping to make a sandwich or a salad. 

Then we go to the gym and I get to play my basketball, afterwards we all go out and laugh.  Sometimes we go to a movie or to their house and play games.  They didn't want to drink or anything in front of me for along time, but I finally convinced them that I am a big girl. I told them they can do whatever they want they should have to look over their shoulders every second. 

Vanessa and I have become really close again.  This time though, there isn't anything physical going on.  I told her that I wanted to take this seriously and I had to prove to myself that I'm worth waiting for.  As long as I believe I am, whoever I end up with will too right?  We are actually trying to be real friends.  Not that we weren't before it was just, well, complicated?  Don't get me wrong, we have multiple moments where we look at each other and you can practically feel the attraction.  So much in fact that strangers who have bumped into us have sensed it and said things about it.  We try to mentally pour cold water on ourselves and move on.  It would be impossible anyway.  She's about to leave and go back on a photo tour.  She will be gone for five months. Five really really long, slow, grueling months.  Sigh.  Lisa and Lillian are doing well.  They moved in with Chris.  I don't dare go over there.  Sometimes she makes it out and brings her to the gym, but I really haven't seen her lately. 

A new school year is about to start so Erin is preparing her classroom.   She's really doing great.  Her and Tyler are so stinking cute together, it's adorable.  If anyone deserved a good guy it would be Erin.  I'm so glad she is happy.

Everyone else is doing great. There really hasn't been anything mind blowing that happened. I'm hanging in there and dealing with everything day by day. Really trying to take one thing at a time, and not let everything pile on me all at once. That's all we can do, right?

January

Five months later..
So things are kind of hard. I'm not saying that I'm some sort of sex addict but.. Shakes head Nic and I are sitting in a coffee shop and we are both drooling looking at these college age girls that are taking off their coats. I swiftly hit her on the back of the head.
"Are you fucking mental?"
I started laughin. "You needed to stop starin at them. You were undressin them with your eyes."
"Aye. Just because you're a moody slag doesn't mean I can not stare at people."
I coughed up some of my white mocha. "Brit say what?!"
"You heard me A."
"Chill out I was just jokin with you little woman."
"You're still a moody slag ever since Vane......"
I immediately gave her the shut the hell up or I will kill you look.