If I Try (Lesbian Story)

They Tried To Make Me Go To Rehab

"If your life is a mess clean it up. Throw away your excuses, sweep the negative people out of your life, fix the problems that you can fix, and pick up the pieces of your life one at a time." -Sonya Parker

The one thing I've learned about life is that it is completely unavoidable. It happens even when you're not all there mentally, emotionally, physically, doesn't matter. It happens when you want to quit, when you've got nothing left, it's still there going on leaving you behind. It's kind of like the quote "The show must go on" it has no choice but to keep moving even when you aren't. I know everyone is thinking 'what the hell A what's going on?' Honestly I couldn't tell you the details of what happened, even if I wanted to. However, I can tell you where my life went from bad to worse. I guess that's the next best thing right?

Let's see, it happened so quickly. That night after I talked to Vanessa on video chat I drank way too much, like usual, and passed out. The next day I was so tired, but I needed more alcohol. I was looking online and discovered that these liquor stores would actually bring the shit to you. I mean how awesome is that? I was ecstatic. I called them and ordered a shitload of heavy drinks. This caused me to meet my instant new best buddy, Allen. He was the one who delivered it. He was a six one nicely built dude with jet black hair that was shaggy and a sweet goatee. Anyone could tell that he was kind of a punk but he was a really funny punk. We instantly clicked. He didn't even try to hit on me. I found out later it was because he also batted for the wrong team. I always wanted a gay dude as a friend!

Allen practically moved in after that day. He would bring my deliveries every couple of days. Yes, I would go through a shitload of alcohol in only two to three days. I wasn't alone though. He would be there and I would share. He would also bring his friends around and they had the perfect shit to compliment the booze. If you're a dense person, yes, this means drugs were booming in my house. We became known as the kick ass party to be at. There was always people here. Morning, noon, night, midnight, early morning, whatever, it didn't matter.

Where was I during all this? Usually I was passed out because I only lasted a week at best with just alcohol. My pallet soon expanded to not only hard liquor but included weed at first, then tried mushrooms. When shrooms weren't enough I tried some different pills mainly ecstasy, ecstasy wore off after a few times. Then I went even harder to LSD, angel dust, and finally cocaine. I swore up and down to myself that I would never do this kind of shit. It was the complete opposite of who I was. At the time I didn't care who I was, what I was doing, or who I was doing it with.

My friends were so annoying they constantly called me. It got so bad they would call me multiple times a day. I finally found some girl and paid her to answer my phone. I could no longer keep up with all the lies and shit I was feeding them. I was so high off my ass that I couldn't even form compete sentences anymore. She answered every time they called making up excuses for me. I don't remember a thing I did. The last thing I remember was dancing on top of the patio table. I know I was having fun though. Every now and then I see little snip its of memories that I have. I don't remember them but I know I was the one that was doing the things.

So without getting into the gory details, because I can't remember them, this leads me to where I am now. I'm in rehab. Apparently I over did it one day and crossed the line. Vanessa had called Katie and made her come check on me. Katie had no clue where I lived since we weren't speaking anymore, so she had to ask Lacey. So her and Lacey came over to my house which was pure chaos. They were too shocked to even move for awhile. I was face down in the sand outside. When they got to me I wasn't breathing. The ambulance was called and they revived me after a few tries. I was in some sort of drug induced coma for a couple of weeks. When I woke up I wasn't myself. I was so screwed up I didn't even know my own name. I was sent to this rehab facility. I was sick for two weeks straight. Continuously throwing up and breaking out in cold sweats. At one point it felt like bugs were eating me alive. My insides felt like they were hanging out of my body.