𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐘 𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐍 ➤ 𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘

𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐯𝐞

𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐘 𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐍

𝘪'𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘥𝘢𝘺
𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘨𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘺 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯

We were well into our high when Ashtray showed up at my house. As soon as I saw it was him I tried to close the door again but it was no use as he forced it open, luckily Rue and Jules were already hidden away in the kitchen.

"The fuck was that for?" he grumbled, referring to my unsuccessful attempt of shutting him out.

"You can't be here right now," I exclaimed. I wasn't even thinking about what had happened at the store, all I was worried about was him finding out that I had done the one thing he asked me not to do, again.

"Winnie, please. I just want to talk," he persisted as he stood in the doorway. I didn't really have much choice though as it was obvious by his tone he wasn't going to leave before we spoke.

"Fine. This has to be quick," I sighed, taking his hand in my own and pulling him up to my room to avoid Jules and Rue who were currently high as a kite.

"Just listen to me, okay?" Ash said softly to which I nodded. I didn't mind if he did most of the talking, at least then he was less likely to realise I was fucked up.

"What happened earlier was a mistake. Sofia kissed me and I don't know why I kissed her back. I'm not even interested in her, I swear," Ash paused momentarily, "Are you even listening to me right now?"

"What?" I said in an almost air-headed tone as I laid back on my bed.

"Winnie are you high?" he interrogated as he sat at the edge of the bed. He cupped my face gently as he peered closely at my dilated pupils.

"No. W-why would you even think that?" I denied, pulling away from his touch. However the stutter in my voice made it all the more unconvincing as Ash shook his head.

"I'm a fucking drug dealer dumbass. You really think I can't tell when someone's high?" Ash spat, his anger clearly growing in his tone.

"I don't know why you even care! I can do whatever I want, just like you can kiss whoever you want!" I raised my voice at him.

"So you are bothered about me kissing Sofia," he rolled his eyes as he leant back slightly.

"That's not what I said. You can literally kiss every other bitch in this town and I wouldn't give a fuck," I laughed bitterly.

"Why the fuck would I kiss every other bitch when I'm in love with you?" he groaned in annoyance as he ran his hands over his face.

"If you're in love with me then why are you fucking around with Sofia?" I hissed.

"Well it's not like me and you are gonna be fucking around any time soon!" he shouted although the anger drained from his face instantly as he realised what he had said.

I looked just as shocked as him. His harsh words seemed to have sobered me up as realisation washed over me. I couldn't believe he could say such a thing considering the times before when we were together and I had told him why I wanted to take things slow, not forgetting the fact I was still struggling with the events of the party as well as the aftermath caused by Sofia's rumours.

"I think you should go," I said lowly as I shuffled away from him.

"Winnie that was a really fucked up thing for me to say. I didn't mean for it to sound like tha-" he began but I cut him off, "Yes you did mean it like that Ashtray and it's fine. I just think you should leave."

"Fuck man," he cursed under his breath but took my advice, getting up from the bed and leaving my room without another word.

Once I heard the front door slam I trudged downstairs, entering the kitchen where the two girls stood with confused expressions.

"He's such a dick," I croaked as they both pulled me into a group hug. Within their embrace I let all my emotions out, my tears falling as I began to shake uncontrollably.

"Cmon don't cry over him. You've wasted enough tears on that boy," Jules insisted as she placed a kiss on my temple.

I knew she was right but at the same time I knew it made no difference. Even after all the bad things he had said I was still stuck on the fact he said he was in love with me.

The same way after all the bad things he had said, I was still in love with him, which was probably the reason why it hurt so much to have to push him away again.