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"I'm so sorry for not being able to get you in sooner Winnie, I've just been very busy recently," Alana smiled apologetically, "Has everything been okay since I last saw you?"
"Yea, better than okay actually. I got back with my ex last week, which I know sounds bad, but I'm really happy right now," I admitted.
"That's great to hear. I'm glad you're doing well," she hummed, "Is there any particular reason you wanted a session today?"
"Yea, there is. You definitely won't tell my mom about any of this?" I asked nervously to which Alana nodded, "Completely confidential."
"Okay, well obviously now that I'm back in a proper relationship...How do I say this?" I paused for a moment as I tried to find the words.
"There's no judgement here Winnie, just say what you're thinking and I'll try to understand," she encouraged.
"Basically I've been wanting to try progress things with my boyfriend...," I tried to dance around what I was thinking, a little embarrassed to say it aloud.
"Just to be sure, you mean sexually?" Alana queried causing me to gulp loudly before nodding.
I could feel myself getting flustered at her words but I tried to swallow the nerves as I spoke up, "Yea. It's just I've never..gone the whole way. Before when I was with Ash we did everything else, just not that because I didn't feel ready. I think I'm ready now but I'm just a little nervous.."
"That's totally normal to be nervous for something like this. New things can be scary, but it's good that you know you're ready even if you still feel nervous. Have you spoke to your boyfriend about it?" she asked to which I shook my head.
"I want to but I think he's kind of scared to after I freaked out one time when we were starting to get heated. I told him it wasn't his fault, it was because I got like flashbacks from the party, but since then he seems like nervous to do anything more than kiss me," I sighed.
"Flashbacks is a common response for some people after they've been through something traumatic. Even if you think you're over the events, they are still in your memory. However my advice for you is to firstly, talk to your boyfriend about this, let him know how you feel and hopefully you guys can find a middle ground where you can try to progress things if you both would like to. Secondly, if things do progress you need to be mindful to take things slow, not just because it's your first time but also because you obviously won't want any more flashbacks to occur. If you feel safe and comfortable they will be less likely, but just incase they do happen don't blame yourself. These things take time," she advised.
