Pagkatapos namin kumain kanina ay agad na kaming umuwi.
Nawala ang mood ko nung umalis ang bata. Ni ha, ni ho, wala siyang sinabi kung saan siya pupunta. She's living under my supervision so she should let me know her whereabouts! Ugh. Kung sino man yung Hershey na yun...
"Ay kalabaw!" Napasigaw ako nang biglang lumitaw ang bata sa harap ko. "Why are you just appearing from nowhere!!!" Inis kong sigaw dahil sa gulat.
"Kakauwi lang eh! Inaano ba kita?" Pilosopa niyang tanong. "Why are you still awake?"
Aba, may gana pang magtanong!
"Eh kung tatanungin kita bakit ngayon ka lang umuwi? And who the hell is Hershey?" Nakapamewang kong tanong.
"Just a friend. We also had a drink. Why care?" Maldita niyang sagot.
"Why care? Of course, kapatid ka ng jowa ko so of course I'm concern as hell! Parang na rin kitang kapatid!"
Sa sinabi ko ay nagulat kami pareho.
Wtf. Did I just... sister-zoned her?
Nakita kong uma-amo yung facial expression niya. "Sorry, ate."
Awkward silence is between us.
"K-kuha lang sana ako ng tubig sa kusina. Sorry din, nagulat lang ako sayo." I explained.
She slowly nodded.
"Kat..." mahinahon kong sambit. Ano ba to, why am I not comfortable her acting like this. Ano bang nagawa ko? Ayoko maging assuning pero is she affected me telling her that she's almost like a sister to me?
Because if she does, then I am, too!
Ugh Kisses! Chapter 33 na tong story na to, confused pa rin ako.
"I hope you don't get what I said earlier wrong. I'm just concerned, okay?"
"I get it, ate. Hershey's a good friend even kuya knows about her." She explained.
Napa ahh nalang ako.
"P-pupunta na po ako sa kwarto." She said.
Tumango lang ako.
Pero parang may kulang eh. Kaya dali-dali ko siyang tinawag nang tumalikod ang bata sa akin. "Kat."
Lumingon siya sa akin, "Hmm?"
"W-wala, never mind."
She nodded and continued.
Ano ba kasi ang gusto kong gawin?
Basta ang alam ko gusto ko siyang di muna matulog. Naiinis na rin ako sa sarili ko! Alam ko kung ano talaga ang gusto ko but I can't even dare to admit this to myself and it's fucking frustrates me!
Bahala na si Batman.
"Kat."
Di ko na siya pinalingon pa and I hugged her from behind!
Omg... the feeling is such a relief!
Kahit pain in the ass tong batang to, why do I feel safe? Comfortable? Happy?
And most importantly... I don't feel home in my own house but with her... it feels like more than home.
Nakakagaan sa pakiramdam.
I never felt like this before, ever.
She resisted but in a gentle way. "Tinotopak ka na naman, tanda." Sabi niya.
"Stay still." At mas lalo ko hinigpitan ang yakap.
"Ano ako, aso?" Eto yung batang hanap hanap ko eh. Yung ugaling kabaliktaran sa ugali ko.
"Dog style kita jan eh." Biro ko.
Naramdaman kong natigilan siya sa sinabi ko.
What the hell did I just uttered? My God! You and your mouth Kisses.
"The manang santa Kisses, manyak pala." She teased.
I loosened the hug a bit, enough for her to move and guided her to face me.
"What's with tonight, ate?" Tanong niyang straight sa mata ko. "Why are you acting like this all of a sudden?"
"I... just missed you." Mahina kong sinabi.
"Inaaway mo lang ako pag nandito ako sa bahay eh."
"I get jealous." Matapang kong sinabi.
"Jealous of what?" Ridiculously niyang tanong.
"Of Hershey. Of anyone who's close to you!"
Natawa siya sa sinabi ko.
"Ate, I know I'm drunk and you are too but... I can still understand things around me. So please don't drive my mind crazy. Be careful of your words especially when you're drunk."
Ayan tuloy, napagsabihan ako ng bata.
"But drunks don't lie. If you call it drunk text if this has to be done through sms, so what do you call it right now? Drunk talk?" Inosenteng tanong ko.
"Lasing. Drunk alone. Hay nako, eto ba ang epekto sayo kapag nauuhaw? Ako na kukuha ng tubig para sayo para mahimasmasan ka lang."
Aalis na sana siya nang niyakap ko ulit siya. Mas mahigpit.
"I-I'm starting to get uncomfortable with this. Ano bang meron, tanda? N-nag away ba kayo ni kuya?" Takang tanong niya.
"Maniniwala ka ba..." I positioned my head in her neck, "If I say that I want you?"
"Ha?"
"Kahit ngayon gabi lang... sayo ako."
I felt embarrassed with what I whispered in her ears.
But I loved the moment.
I'm happy.
"I don't like jokes like this, ate." Seryoso niyang sambit. She tried to push me but I stayed still. "Stop this."
"Ayaw mo ba sa akin?" Halos naiiyak kong tanong. Kung oo man ang sagot ng bata, nako! Nakakahiya talaga!
Hindi siya sumagot.
I put my hands on her waist, pulling her closer to me. "Why can't you answer a simple question, Kat? You just have to say yes or no."
"Then what?" Sagot niya, "If I say I like you too, will we kiss? Then what, we act tomorrow that nothing happened tonight? Kasi kung ganito lang naman ang set up natin, I'd rather stop liking you!"
Napatingin ako sa kanya.
"I'm tired of acting nothing happened between us and nothing is happening to us, ate!" Dagdag pa niya.
I was shocked.
So all this time, she's aware! She's aware of every single thing we did in this house!
"Natatakot din ako i-pursue to, because for a fucking reason that you're my brother's girlfriend!"
I grabbed her waist once again, "And just like I said, can I be yours tonight?" Tanong kong nakatingin sa mga mata niya.
Her mood, her facial expression, her eyes softened... and she answered me with a "Yes."
•••
I sealed her answer with of course, a kiss.
I could never imagine I can kiss a person this way but hell it's now happening!
Ganito ba talaga ang aggressiveness if you're into the person?
Hindi ko namamalayan ay nasa kusina na pala kami.
I pushed her in the table while kissing her hard but intimately.
I can sense her hands caressing any part of my body that she can reach.
Shet.
Ang init.
Ang sarap.
I want more.
