A Life Better Than Mine (An Adopted fanfic)

Suspended Again (But with Mickey)

Mickey kept getting a phone call from an unknown number. He answered on the fourth time they called.

"Is this Mr. Milkovich?"

"Yes, who is this?"

"We're calling to tell you that you need to pick up your daughter, Felicity."

"What'd she do this time?" Mickey asked.

"We'll tell you when you come get her."

Mickey hung up the phone and grumbled as he went to his car to pick up Felicity. He was mad all the way to her school and was pissed by the time he entered the school. Someone pointed to the assistant principal's office. He found Felicity sitting in a chair next to a boy sporting a black eye.

"Glad you could make it, Mr. Milkovich."

Mickey fake-smiled at the woman. 

"It's Gallagher-Milkovich, bitch," Mickey thought.

"Why is Felicity in trouble?" Mickey asked. "She's a good kid."

"She obviously punched poor Clifford in the face."

Mickey was really not liking her.

"What happened, Felicity?" Mickey questioned as he rubbed his eyes.

"I was walking to the bathroom when Clifford jumped me. He grabbed me between my legs and told me to be the obedient bitch I am and obey him. So, he got kicked in the balls and punched in the face."

"This is the first I'm hearing from this," the assistant principal said.

"I literally explained this when I first walked in here."

"Maybe if you wouldn't wear something that distracted the boys."

"Miss, my daughter is literally wearing a mid-thigh length Darth Vader t-shirt, blue jeans with no rips or anything, and sandals. Why she's wearing sandals in winter, I don't know. But unless he has a foot fetish, my daughter isn't wearing anything revealing or anything. I believe that they should both be punished or neither one should be punished."

"Mister Milkovich."

"Come on, Blue's Clues, let's go."

Felicity got up and grabbed her things and her jacket.

"Also, it's Gallagher-Milkovich bitch."

Mickey and Felicity walked out of the school, feeling amazing.

"Am I in trouble?" Felicity asked.

"Fuck no. I'm proud of you. No man or boy should be allowed to touch you without consent. Awesome, impressive work. That shiner's not going away anytime soon. I'm going to call your dad to come meet us. We're getting icecream and Starbucks because we are some bougie bitches."

"Dad, that was so cool! You're exit was movie worthy. I feel like I'm on Mean Girls," Felicity said as they got in the car.

Mickey looked at her for a second. He was smiling so large.

"What? Is there something on my face?"

"Besides pride," Mickey said, "no."

Mickey called Ian and put him on speaker as he was driving.

"What's up, Mick?"

"You on break right now?"

"Yeah, why do you ask?"

"Meet me at the Dairy Queen up the road."

"Oh, it's that kind of thing. You could've just told me you were horny."

Mickey was turning bright scarlet. Felicity was laughing.

"Dude, not that kind of thing. That's for later times. Your kid just got suspended from school and we're celebrating."

"That kinda contradicts the punishment but why did she get suspended?"

"We'll explain it when we get there," Mickey told him.

"It's an epic story," Felicity chimed in.

"Did Mickey go off on somebody?"

"Yes! And it was awesome! Wish I could've gotten it on tape," Felicity said.

Ian sighed. "I'll be there in ten minutes tops."

"Sounds good, Firecrotch. I love you."

"Love you, too."

They hung up and made their way over to Dairy Queen. Mickey turned on a song and Felicity wasn't exactly fond of it.

"Must we listen to this song?"

"Look," Mickey started. "The driver, which is me, hi, picks the music. The shotgun, which is you, shuts her cakehole."

"You supernaturalled me."

"That I did. Now, we're going to listen to this amazing song and not complain."

They arrived, ordered, and sat in a parking spot.

"You wanna switch for a second?"

"Sure."

Felicity has ordered Salted Caramel Truffle and Mickey has ordered Brownie Batter. He ordered Rocky Road for Ian. They swapped their blizzards and tried a bite.

"That's the shit," Mickey said. "You may have the taste of an old women, but I'm not saying it's too terribly bad."

"Brownie Batter is now my second favorite."

"Fliss, you have to climb in the back. Ian's here."

Fliss climbed into the back and swapped her blizzard back.

"Hey," Ian greeted as he kissed Mickey. "I'm waiting on the story. It sounds like....something."

So, Mickey handed Ian the Rocky Road and Felicity and Mickey started explaining their story. Ian nodded along.

"Our daughter packs a fucking punch. Half that guys face was bright red."

When they were finished, they looked at Ian.

"Well guys," Ian began. "I'm proud of both of you."

Felicity let out the breath she was holding.

"It's stupid that they tried to punish you, Fliss. That was self-defense. He shouldn't have been touching you. That's sexual assault. And Mickey, I expected it out of you and I'm proud of you, too. This ice cream is a treat to all of us.

"Cheers!"

"Cheers!"

"Cheers!"