Clearing The Mind

Chapter 13: Lil' Drummer Girl.

In a way of saying, Julian hated the term those uncertainties in life.
Ever since he felt the first sense of loss, he hated it.

He continued to stay fazed over there.
Tears weren't able to fall, but his expression downcast as downcast could be.

Gwen, Daphne, and the rest of the band were all looking at him, but it looked as if he was in another state of mind, another realm, perhaps?

"Julian?" Gwen looked at him with those eyes that would always pierce his soul.

He couldn't hear it, or did he hear it?

It felt different.

She looked at him again, This time with Daphne joining the feel.

The rest of the band didn't know how to deal with it.

He looked at the wall in front of him, even with them blocking his vision of the wall.

"I can't believe it. I just can't." A trickle of moisture fell from his eye.

"What happened? What can't you believe?"

"Sabrine." He started to break down.
"She's dead."

Daphne left a large question mark on the top of her head.

Gwen though, knew what he was saying.

"Sabrine? How did you know?"

"She was involved in the gunfire incident in Ohio last night, along with her boyfriend." He spoke in a straight line, with no upper tone nor lower.

"Yulia broke the news to me as she found out."

"Wait. So who's Sabrine?"

"The little drummer girl," Gwen uttered under her breath. "The first girl to be his best friend, and his first girlfriend."

Daphne looked back at him. She didn't know of his past endeavors. But heck, it made her uncomfortable that he didn't show her by now. One thing she felt, was how life would be cut off in a quick split-second.

He woke up from the trance or whatever realm he was in. Picked up his phone. Gwen had already talked to Yulia and put the phone back on the floor. "We're going to have to go back to LA."

No one reacted as if they were shocked. They had two gigs left in Canada and to be honest, it wouldn't be a loss without it.

Julian's tears were only flowing through now. True, she was part of his past that he never wanted to touch again, but still, the fact that she had her life taken from her so quickly does tug a few heartstrings in a way.

"Julian." Gwen was looking at her padawan now, her eyes dead shot. "You sure you okay?"

He smiled at her, she can feel the pain as he does and replied it mellowly. "If I do look okay, you can tell me."

Brokenness was one thing, but he couldn't know anymore. He couldn't feel whatever was looking inside of his heart by now.

The boy who met too many heartbreaks. Some of which were warrantly caused by him himself, some caused for what fate would throw at him.

He despised the thought of uncertainty for this reason and this reason alone.

The broken smile. That was what it was. He didn't know how to interpret it anymore, and yet, the lingering feeling of something was still there.

"Come on, let's get out of here." Julian gets up. His voice slowly showing its scars in how rash it was quickly becoming.

He wanted a way to escape.
Escape life? Escape the things he is in right now?
That was the very purpose of him starting this tour along with Gwen and the band.